Lot 48: weekend pressure

August 11, 2018

weekend pressure

*i do have a point to get to in this post so please bear with me as i struggle to find it. this is a post about self love.*

i hate summer. that's probably unpopular to say but i do, i hate it. its too hot. not a fan of the heat which doesn't make a lot of sense because i live in southern california. i'm a screenwriter and have to live in hollywood so i don't really have a choice. the rest of the year the weather is great!

us at the movies last week, the spy who dumped me, a must see! 
i see so many beautiful, outgoing and fun bloggers do weekend recaps on their blogs each week.  they have gone shopping, they have done fun activities with their friends, kids, husbands, parents, and i envy them.  and i feel an enormous pressure to be like them.  

 i feel its a social norm to be outside a lot in the summer because the "weather is beautiful" and you can go play and swim and such.  in the winter, it feel like its "acceptable" to hibernate in your house and not go out that much but stay in in the cold months. 

so many people love and adore summer because they get to go out and have so much fun with friends.  i'm the opposite. i go out a lot when in the winter and i like to stay in the summer.  when its so hot, i don't like to go out. the heat makes me irritable, very irritable; just ask taran.  i love to go out in the cold.  even when i lived in salt lake city for 8 years and it snowed i loved to go out when it snowed. 

 this is not a weather post, sorry, i have a point! my point! my point is this!  in the summer, i feel like a loser, lazy and very boring if i don't have a weekend recap to post or if i stay in on the weekends.  i don't like feeling pressure from other people, i don't like feeling bad about myself and i don't like trying to be someone i'm not.

 for instance, this week i went to six flags with a friend. it was so hot it wasnt’t even fun. seriously it was so hot i was moving like a slug and things didn’t get better until we purposely got soaked on a water ride. things just aren’t as fun in the summer.

 now i am in no way saying that the women who fill their weekends with fun things are responsible for my self esteem issue in this area or are anything but wonderful.  like i said, they are fun, energetic women, a lot of them whom i've met.  i wish i was like them.  i envy them.  i'm not saying anything bad about their weekend routines.  i wish i had their weekend routines.

 but the heat sucks.  and fall (don't get me started on fall! oh how i love you!) and winter are better.  i'm trying to make an effort to love myself, every inch of me.  that includes how i want to spend my weekend. 

 i heard a phrase recently that i love: "i am what i am."  and i am somebody who isn't going to have her weekend packed of fun each week.  and its okay to not like summer.  its okay to be me.