Lot 48: to my niecephews

February 26, 2018

to my niecephews

to my babies,

there are 11 of you. i love you each individually and with a force i have never felt.

to my oldest babies, the sweet sensitive ones who are in school, i worry about you guys the most. eli, oliver, avery, june, isaac, london, lincoln. i worry about you guys all the time. i fall asleep worrying about you. i worry that kids are being mean to you. that you know your worth and know what those kids say means nothing. i want you to KNOW that you are worth everything and mean everything and are incredible little humans.  i want you to have self worth.  you have amazing parents who lift you up and tell you so many times a day what great kids you are, but i want you to KNOW it.  i want you to have the tools to withstand when a kid is mean.  you are all at such tender ages, i want you to be safe. safe from home physical, yes, but i am most worried about emotional harm.

i am by nature a big protector.  i have to protect those i love, its in my blood.  i want wings, big beautiful wings so i can wrap them around all 11 of you and protect you from everything.  to make sure no one says a single unkind thing, excludes you from anything, make sure you never feel any pain.  i would give my soul for you to never have to feel any pain.

i want to know you.  really know you.  i want special relationships with each of you. but you older ones, you're getting too cool to hang out with me.  you want share with me what school is like or what you're scared of or your inner most thoughts and dreams and desires! haha there is no way you would open up to me like that, i don't think you share that with you parents even.

to my younger ones, i love and hate to watch you grow.  my lovely sweet babies, capri, vienna, moses and james, you sweet little ones.  you are so tender.  i love seeing you experience things for the first time.  its magic. you are magic.  i love looking into all of your eyes. i can see God in those eyes.  i can see hope and beauty and dreams and innocence and it is one of the great marvels of the world.  i love watching you grow but hate as you get so big.

i feel incredibly guilty that i am missing all 11 of your lives.  i made a choice.  i live in LA, you all live in salt lake city.  i'll live here forever, most of you will live in salt lake forever.  i'm going to miss out and am missing out on so much and it absolutely breaks my heart.  i hate being away from you.

each of you is the sweetest, cutest, most handsome and beautiful little angels inside and out.  i owe my sisters my life for bringing each one of you into the world and allowing me to be your auntie.  i have fallen so head over heels in love with each of you.  that will never change.

i love you,

your auntie lauren
aka. your favorite aunt.

1 comment:

  1. Being an aunt is awesome, I love all my nieces and nephews and have a lot of them, 14 in total and 10 great nieces and nephews


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