Lot 48: "this business"

May 2, 2017

"this business"

if you don't know the clothing company poppy and dot, you are missing out! i linked to their instagram and not their website because their instagram is much more fun.  and this post is not sponsored, although i wish it was.

i spend a lot of time working really, really hard to break into this business.  i kind of love that the people in this business just call it "this business."  because i don't want to say "hi! i'm trying to break into the entertinment industry! more specifically, tv! more specifically!  more specifically, comedy! preferably single camera comedy."  so much easier to just squeeze all that into "this business."

i remember when i was interning here six years ago and i was on the phone with my mom.  it was maybe my first or second week here and i was telling her that the people here are creative but business.  creative but bossy.  creative but pushy.  creative but level headed.  that is what a producer was to me at the time.  i told my mom i had found my people.  i had finally found where i fit in.  and that is still true as true today as it was then.

all my life i have been too pushy, too rude, too blunt, too intrusive, too this or too that.  in utah, this was a huge problem in the job market.  at one job, i was specifically told i was too pushy.  i never saw that as a bad thing but in that job i guess it was.  i wanted to make sure people got my emails and if they didn't respond and something had to get done, heck yes i emailed them more than once.

but here, i'm not too pushy.  i'm not too blunt.  i'm not too intrusive.  i'm not too this or that.  i'm just right.  i have to be pushy.  if i wasn't i would get nowhere and i wouldn't break into this business.  i would just sit around waiting for life to happen.  i would apply for jobs instead of making contacts and meeting people because in this town that is how you get jobs.  there really isn't another way.  even people who aren't in this business know its all about who you know.  i have no shame.  i talk to everyone.  i am not rude about it, i know when to give up on pushing, but i ask everyone i know who they know, and then i talk to them and then i ask who they know and then i talk to them and then i just make a fool of myself over and over asking people for advice and "can you give me a call i just need 5 minutes of your time" over and over again.  i can't tell you how many old contacts of mine i've talked to since i got here that i made six years ago who are now producers who when i first emailed then their response was, "wait, who are you?" but i pushed and darnnit if i didn't talk to them on the phone and get their advice and insight that was helpful and gave me new ideas and new avenues to try.

my mouth is tired of saying and my fingers are tired of typing "i'm a writer.  i want to work in tv.  i want to be in production.  i would love to work for a tv exec.  i would kill to be a writer's assistant.  i would kill to be an office pa on a show."

its embarrassing how many times i have facebook messaged/instagram messaged strangers who were friends of friends things like "hi! i'm friends with this person and i think its so amazing that you did this and wow" and this and that i blunder my way through it because i don't know what to say or how to gracefully scream PLEASE HELP ME I WILL WORK FOR AIR.

and oh just wait until i finish my pilot and i start pushing my script onto poor innocent people.  that will be a whole new level of humiliation that i am not looking forward to.

but this is where i fit.  here i'm not too pushy!! kazaa! and here not knowing how to relax and working from the moment i wake up until the moment i go to sleep nobody looks and me like "why are trying to make us all look bad just chill."

i love this california sunshine and all the trees and that it smells good whenever you're outside and did i mention the TREES? i have never lived anywhere with this many trees!  i love the people in this business and that they are all just like me.  i love that i fit in.  everyone wants that.

now pardon me while i go humiliate myself and talk to some more strangers.