Lot 48: January 2017

January 31, 2017

things i miss

i have lived in california for three weeks now and there are some things that i do miss about utah. as i mentioned, i didn't get a chance to say goodbye because it happened so suddenly.  i have been having  some twangs of homesickness since i moved here but nothing bad.  i'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that i live here.  its pretty crazy!  every morning i wake up with butterflies in my stomach because i am so excited that i live here and my dream came true.

i miss my boys! its weird that i am so far from all of my niecephews and that i won't get to see them for awhile.  i hate that i didn't get to say goodbye to them.  i told eli, the oldest, that i had moved to california and said "you know how you love the beach? when you come to the beach you get to see me."  we always have a family vacation in either palm springs or somewhere in so cal.  this year its palm springs.  i just want them to know that i'm not too far. 

obviously i miss my best friend patrisha.  we were talking on the phone last night and both said it hasn't sunk in that we don't live near each other anymore.  when she moved here in august, i was so excited and figured i would be in salt lake for another year.  i'm so happy with how things turned out but i do miss patrisha being so close!

there was this great french bakery that taran and i would always go to on saturday nights when we had been doing lazy productive things all day and wanted to get out of the house but didn't want to go to a movie. it would be a quick little date and we would get these really, really amazing desserts with italian creme sodas.  i would always get the passion fruit mousse and maybe a fruit tarte too (my mouth is watering) and italian sodas too.  i loved those quick date nights. i would put on something fancy and would feel like we were dating again.

we need to find another place like this so we can go on quick dates.  i found this great italian restaurant close that we decided would be our go to place on the rare occasion when we go out to eat.  but we still need to find a dessert place!

but despite those things i miss i am beyond ecstatic to be here and can't believe it finally happened.  when i'm driving and there are palm trees lined up on both sides of me, i need to pinch myself to check that it isn't a dream. 

January 18, 2017

right of passage

its been an emotional and odd first few days in our new apartment, in our new life, in our new city, our new adventure.
i feel as though everything that has happened thus far this week has been a true LA right of passage.  classic story of girl moves to hollywood to try to make it in the entertainment business because she along with what feels like literally the rest of the world feels like she has something unique and substantial to offer to entertainment business.  you read those stories in people magazine when you read about how ellen and steve harvey and every now famous person lived in their car and was homeless or ate soup out of a can and didn't have a kitchen and slept at the dance studio because they didn't have a place to live.  and they can afford diamond creme and buy $10 million houses.  so i feel like everything that has happened this week, like, "yeah, i'm gonna make it!  look at everything that happened this week!  this means i'm going to 'make it!'" 

what does "make it" even mean?  does that mean that your face is on a billboard?  does that mean that you have two houses, each for a cool $5 mil? whatever it means, i really don't like the term.

having no internet all week has been a real b** and i thought i would get it today but no i get it tomorrow.  one more day! i finally made it to the library to write and to get through some lessons on my aaron sorkin masterclass.  such a good class!  i am so hungry to learn.  and to get a paycheck.  that would be really, really nice.  haha. 

i love it here.  but i am anxious to life started.  our apartment isn't put away yet.  slowly but surely.  we have a lot of crap.  we are throwing a lot of it away.  our living room is so big we need to fill it all.  its so much bigger than our last apartment.  we are going to get a real couch.  oh my gosh you guys.  not a love seat.  from craigslist of course but still.  and a book case and a coffee table.  

and the fridge was finally put in.  we have this weird cupboard that is really tall that is supposed to be the pantry so we need to get a shelf to put in the pantry or else it will just be one big mess of stuff where we can't find anything. slowly but surely.  slowly but surely.  slowly but surely that apartment is becoming a home.  

also, we realized that taran and i haven't held each other or kissed each other or done anything remotely non roomatey in like two weeks because it has just been go go go. un pack un pack.  we were apart for almost a week while i was out here and he was packing up the apartment back in utah and then when he got here it was all business and stress.  so last night we danced with each other and we cuddled and splurged on data and watched tv and we remembered that we have no money but we have each other.   i was feeling kind of homesick that day so that was just what i needed.

LA! lalalalala! that is a little song i sing now sometimes.  

the end.


January 13, 2017

best british tv shows

today my husband is on his way to LA with all of our earthly possessions and then the next day he will finally be here and i won't have a hole in my stomach where he should be.  i'm half of one person without him and i need my other half back. 

i have been watching a lot of british tv lately.  when you're unemployed and you get back from Christmas vacation and you're really sick so you just stay in bed and feel guilty because you should be writing but you can't even stand up without without being dizzy so you just watch netflix. i don't know why i am on a british tv kick.  i have found myself calling people "nutter" and "bugger off" a lot.  i have found that i love slow moving murder mysteries so be warned.  murders don't get solved in 40 minutes. they get solved in periods weeks and months.  and i think the mark of good writing is being able to drag it out and keep the audience interested.  

this one was good but it wasn't one that i would go grabbing people's faces on the street and shaking them and saying "you have to watch this show!!" it was good.  i didn't fall in love with the main character.  they were trying to make her a mess, her life a mess but failed.  she wasn't a mess.  she actually had it pretty together, i thought.  the plot was good.  i really liked the plot. its about a murder of a oddball guy in a small town and as the detectives dig deeper into the murder they discover it is a huge pharmaceutical company conspiracy.  its worth watching.  3 stars. 

this.  show.  this is a show that i want to grab stranger's faces on the street and say "you have to watch this show!" but i want to save that for only one of the shows listed.  this is about a brilliant detective who sees his dead victims.  like his dead victims just hang around with him and talk to him and he talks back to them and he looks like a crazy person 70% of the time.  the victims of the cases he works hang around until he solves their murders and then they go away.  the mini series is mostly about solving the death of his partner, jackie, who was a deeply lovable character.  this show was so well written and the characters were exquisite.   must watch.  5 stars. 

now let us embark on the shows that we all know about and it is obvious they are must sees.

i was sooo excited when i heard this show was coming.  i am fascinated about anything royal.  i devour anything royal.  i couldn't wait for it to air.  it did not disappoint.  i smell emmy nominations and wins all over it, especially after the golden globe wins for best drama and claire foy taking best actress which i was not surprised at all.  this show is absolutely brilliant.  queen elizabeth was so young when she became queen.  so young.  she was my age!  and she took it so seriously and handled it with such grace from the beginning.  i do hope that her husband is not such a whining pathetic excuse of a man as the show portrays.  i hate her husband.  grow a pair.   a real man rises to the occasion, takes it upon himself to find happiness and find interests and be happy.  stop complaining.  every single word out of his mouth is a complaint.  i wanted to slap him so many times.  this show was so beautifully done i was so sad when it was over.  it ended on such a sad note i really really cried when it ended.  i have zero idea why it was rated TV-MA.  it shows the king's backside but that is the only thing i can remember.  

'nuff said.  i really don't need to go on.  except i really love how they dig deep into why luther is the way he is, why he needs to save people.  when i first started watching it, i stayed up late binging and after episode 3, i was so terrified, so scared, i woke up taran and started screaming.  that episode was so creepy!! terrifying! i made him check all the closets and bathroom and shower and everything and clung to him.  i don't remember ever being so scared in my life.

'nuff said.  i really don't need to go on. except the season 4 premiere was terrible.  what were they thinking!??! honestly!! now this is the show i grab people's faces, shake them angrily and saw WHY HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THIS!! there was a dental assistant at my dentists office who i demanded that he watch it by the time i come back in six months.  me and the dentist both were badgering him and were shocked he hadn't seen it.  when i came back, he still hadn't seen it, and i actually got really mad.  like seriously mad.  unacceptable.  just, unacceptable.  but the abominable bride episode was exquisite.  haven't watched the second episode of season 4 yet so i'm positive it will get better.  and i'm sure what happened at the end of the first episode is not real.  i'm sure its fine.  5 million trillion stars.

Bright on a Budget

January 11, 2017

goodbye, hello

i officially live in los angeles.

i have wanted to say those words for  5 years.

since the day i left LA all those years ago feeling so sad because i knew i had found my home but it was time to leave because my internship was over and it was time to go back to utah, back to school.  i told my colleagues, "see you august!" as i left that november, and here we are, 5 years later, and i am just now getting back. 

all these years, i have messaged and emailed and texted my friends that i made in LA "where are you working" "what are you up to" not only to keep those contacts but to live vicariously through them.  each time i went to LA, i would come back fresh with new creativity.  that is the #1 thing i love about LA.  creativity rubs off on you.  you can't get away from it.  if you are a creative person, there is no way to run from it.  it sticks on you like honey when you eat a peanut butter and honey sandwich.   

i wrote about the whole apartment hunting debacle and how last week when we were here we didn't find a place and went home to salt lake with our tail between our legs apartment-less.  we came to the conclusion on sunday that i was going to go back to LA alone on monday to look  some more for a place and taran would join me on friday.  the plan was to live in airbnbs for a however long it took until we found a place while taran worked at his new LA office.  

over that weekend, i applied online for an apartment that we got approved for.  i nearly fell to the floor when i got the call.  after the extremely frustrating week prior with that resulted in looking at a guest house that was the size of a box without an oven rejecting us i was sure nobody would ever accept us as tenants.  the property management group that had accepted us had several properties, two that i liked.  because i had filled out one application, i had been approved for any of their properties that were in x price range.  i was freaking ecstatic.  

monday night i stayed the night at my parents house as their house is half way between salt lake city and LA.  i got up at the crack of dawn on tuesday morning and drove as fast as i legally could and kept calling the property management company saying "am i still the only applicant?!" "has anyone else looked at it yet?!"! "just give me 3 more hours i just passed vegas!!"

now we play the game of goldilocks.

the first apartment i went to i thought was "the one" based on the pictures i saw.  but the apartment  in a neighborhood that i was so ghetto i didn't feel safe.  i locked my purse in the trunk before i went in and then thought in the back of my mind "anywhere you feel the need to do that is not a place you want to live." (i'm not the only one who does this, right? if you're in a sketchy neighborhood and you don't want to bring your whole purse in, you put it in your trunk right, where no one can see it and won't break your glass and steal your purse? anyone? i've been doing this for as long as i can remember.) the apartment set up was weird too. and there was barely any closet space.

so i went to the next property.  the thing about the valley in LA is you drive a few miles and suddenly you are in a better part of town.  as i drove to my other property, the neighborhood got nicer, cleaner better, and i felt safer.  i got a better and better feeling about it.  once i got to the residential part of it, the houses looked better and by then i was sold on the neighborhood.  

once in the apartment, i just fell in love love and knew that was it.  it was bigger than any other apartment i had ever shopped for ever that i had seen and i had such an overwhelmingly good feeling about it.  i absolutely love it.  and now its ours.  

it happened quickly and i didn't expect it to happen that way, but it did.  taran and i talked about the best way to do this as our move in date is saturday and we came up with a few options but the best way is for him to pack up our utah apartment and drive the uhaul down to LA.  why would i drive all the way back to salt lake, 800 miles, just to turn around and drive back again. a total of 2400 miles. it makes no sense.  taran will join me on saturday. 

and now because i can't enjoy any huge stress getting checked off my bucket list, i am now near hyperventilation of finding a job.  but that is an entirely different blog post.

what surprised me was how emotional and sad i was that i didn't get to say goodbye to salt lake.  salt lake was never the place for me, but regardless, i lived there for 8 years.  its where i met and fell in love with my husband.  its where i went to college and got married.  its where i grew into an adult.  its where i made life long friendships.  its where i was tried beyond measure and experienced unmeasurable happiness. it was my home for 8 years.  

its not like i won't be back, of course.  i can't wait to open this new chapter of taran and i's lives.  i have to do this.  i have to at least try to be a comedy writer.  i have to.  i need to.  i thank the Lord for the infinite blessings he has given me to make this happen and for the amazing man He gave me who is willing to move to a place he never lived before and has only been to once and is yet still excited about this adventure

i can't wait to get started.  i can't wait for this chapter to begin. 

January 9, 2017

ice castle!

life is crazy right now!  i am leaving for LA again today and will stay for as long as it takes until we find an apartment.  then we will drive back to utah, pack up our apartment, and then move into our new place in LA! 

i had no idea that apartment hunting in LA would be this difficult as i said in this post.  it is a true nightmare.  

but! on saturday was taran's birthday so we went to the ice castles! i had been wanting to go for YEARS and since my time in utah is limited we had to go asap! 

i love taran.  thanks for being born, babe.  it was a really stressful day and finding an apartment is stressful and moving is stressful so he got a really terrible birthday and for that i am truly terribly sorry.  

i put together a little imovie and i feel like leslie knope when she sends that movie to anne saying her and ben hooked up and at the end she says "anne i figurd out how to use imovie call me!" i was pretty proud of myself.  i just put all of my snaps together.  it is better to see the video to get the feel for how incredible the castle was.   

while building, they made 15,000 icicles a day or something i don't remember to build it!  its truly incredible. 

this was the kiddie slide! 

regally sitting on my throne!

taran went for the funny approach to his throne.

i am so glad we got to go with friends! it made it so much more fun.  it was soo cold but so fun! i am so glad we went! item from bucket list crossed off!

January 6, 2017

LA apartment hunting

as i mentioned yesterday, we have been in LA all week looking for a place to live.
and it has been one of the most stressed i have ever been.

apartment hunting in utah is obviously sooo different than apartment hunting in LA.  in utah, you don't have to give bank statements, tax returns and your left arm to fill out an application.  you get a much bigger apartment for the same price as you would here in LA.  obviously.  no surprise.  this is a much, much bigger city and therefore this is a totally different ballgame.

you call place after place after place.  then you find a place that you actually like you fill out the application.  then its like a date or a job interview.  they review your credit, and background check which is no surprise there, no worries.  but then you anxiously wait for the landlord to get back to you to see if he likes you or not.  it is so stressful. 

if you ask anyone that knows me, they will tell you that i am a control freak. i must be in control.  and right now i feel helpless and completely out of control and i despise it.  i have no control over if the landlord likes me.  i can tell him i'm quiet.  i can tell him my husband and i are responsible and we have never missed a rent payment in our lives (separately or married).  i could tell the landlord we don't even drink.  we can show the paystubs and the credit score.  but we still don't know if we have the place.

there is this one place that we really fell in love with.  its perfect.  and we really, really want it.  so i'm scared to death that we won't get it. i have zero control over this.  i can call the landlord who i genuinely like and say that it was a pleasure to meet him and thank him for taking the time to show us the property.  i can do all of that.  but it is still out of my control.

the good news is, i have a lot of leads on jobs thanks to friends and contacts that i have maintained these past five years.  so that's good.  i love it so much here i want to cry.  the trees, the creative energy, i love it all.  i love it all so much. now if someone could allow us to live in their place. pleeeeease that would be oh so very very great.

we fly back tonight.  and cross my toes pray to God that we have a place sealed down when we get on that plane.  because i am completely freaking out.

January 5, 2017

a supportive husband

i must sing the praises of my husband.

there is literally no greater man you will meet in your life.

when he tells people he is moving to LA so i can be a tv writer, people respond with "wow!  you are so understanding!"  or they get really confused and ask " wait, so.... um... how does that work, does she just move there and suddenly she is a writer?" and then taran explains that i have lived there before and i have connections and i didn't just wake up one morning and decide to become a tv writer.

after taran explains that i've lived here before and everything, there is always an "oh!!!" like an "oh!! so she isn't insane. this could actually happen!" its quite amusing.

i haven't met many guys who would pick up everything in their lives and move to another place in they have only been to once just because his needs to follow some crazy dream.  its really incredible how incredible he is.  

when i became an "adult" and i saw women moving for their husbands jobs, i get angry because i didn't understand why the husband never moves for the woman's job.  i know, this is a super annoying and feminist statement and feel free to just close this post now, but that is something that always bothered me.  its incredibly rare that i see a man move for the wife's career.  i can count on one hand the women i know that has happened for.  

i really am the luckiest that taran is so willing to move for me.  i am lucky that his company is so flexible, that they value him, that he is such a hard worker.  i am so, so incredibly blessed. 

our apartment fell through so we have been in LA all week trying to find an apartment while taran works at his new LA office and i apartment hunt all day.  i am exhausted i want to cry.  i have seen so many places and haven't liked any of them, so keep your fingers crossed that today is the day that that changes! 

January 3, 2017

2017 word for the year

2016 was a weird year.  weird is the best word to describe it.  it started out with lots of excitement and i probably thought it was "my year" and all that.  i finally became a police dispatcher and was finally in law enforcement.  i waited four long months to get in and the waiting and getting in was a really terrible process.

i thought i had found my calling.  i thought i had found where i had belonged.  so i chose the word joy for 2016.

as i went deeper into my police dispatcher training and came to the crushing realization that this career path was not for me, i changed the word to hope. my dream was shattered and i was lost.

i really enjoyed the last six months of 2016 working for my Church.  the last two weeks of december have been a rollercoaster to put it lightly.  they were rough and joyous.

i ask noor to make me a beautiful print for the new year with my new word i had chosen: confident.  with the move to los angeles, i really wanted something that i could constantly look at when i was doubting myself and that i could call upon for inspiration.

i am so in love with this print!  i love the texture and the color and the font.  i especially love the texture.  i know that i will look to this many times this year and remind myself to not get intimidated, that i am a good writer, that demi lovato is in fact onto something, and that in order for me to succeed in this business we call show i can't get flustered and drown in self doubt.  that won't do.  

i really love choosing just a word for the year instead of goals for the year.  i find it much more satisfying and i also am more accomplished by the end of the year because i focus on more thing instead of shifting my focus on several goals. 

i'm excited for what 2017 will bring!