Lot 48: why we work

August 15, 2016

why we work

i have been thinking lately about what makes us so lucky that taran and i are so in love and are so happy together?  and why does it feel so easy?  the more i thought about it, the more i realized that we didn't accidentally fall into this happiness, this great of a marriage.  we work at it.  with a little destiny thrown in. 

we are constantly serving each other.  taran is a rockstar at this, way more so than me.  i am always blown away each day by things he does for me.   i have zero idea how i got so lucky.  he cooks for me, he does laundry for me, he does the dishes.  i try to help and the only time he lets me is when i force him to sit down, relax and let me do the dishes for once!! whenever i say that i feel bad for how much he does for me, he says "i feel bad for how much you do for me."  a few weeks ago he had to go to the eye doctor, regular doctor and the dentist.  i scheduled all the appointments for him, found providers in his insurance, and scheduled them each a week apart so he wasn't missing an hour or so of work multiple times a week.  then i made cards for him with directions on how to get there, the phone number, and the day and time of the appointment and what it was for.  when he's hungry, i make him a sandwich.  i make sure he is drinking enough.  i make sure he has everything he needs.  i've gotten a lot  better at budgeting because i was the biggest spender before! i am constantly trying  and thinking of new ways to serve him.  and i think that is one of the foundations of a good marriage.

we are both romantics.  we have been married for 2 1/2 years, and we are still definitely in the honeymoon phase and i want to never get out of it.  we both love to cuddle and tell each other sweet and romantic things about why we love the other and we both love rom coms.  don't tell taran i told you this, but he loves moulin rouge.  he cried when we watched it.  and then he just held me for a really long time saying "please never die!" and for weeks following he kept singing the songs from it to me.  he is a true sweetheart.

we make an effort to take an interest in each other's passions.  i feel really bad for him when he watches tv with me.  i have to know who wrote it, i rewind a lot if it is a delicious bit of writing or example of character or anything like that.  and i tell him lots of things about the directing and  the writing of whatever we are watching. "did you notice the light changes whenever the protagonist talks in this scene?" "do you notice how they are having a calm moment before a big shootout?  this bit of writing was introduced and originally done by shakespeare in several of his plays, including hamlet when there is a calm scene of character development before something terrible happens." the poor guy, it takes us twice as long to watch things than it does everyone else.  but he listens and rarely says "ugh! lauren! can't we just watch?!" and i try to do the same for him.  i don't find science fascinating or what he does interesting, but i try to listen when he talks about whatever product he is designing or what idea he has for a medical device.  i used to be really bad at this at the beginning of our relationship and would let him know when he was talking about things that were to me, very boring stuff. "oh my gosh taran i nearly fell asleep just during that sentence you just said because that is how boring it sounded."  :) i try not to do that anymore....

we enjoy the same things.  my dad once told me that a key to a happy and successful marriage is being recreational companions.  enjoying the same things, participating in things that the other person is interested in.  tv is such a big part of my life and isn't a past time for me, it's not a hobby, it's a job to me.  it makes me a better writer.  i love tv.  i love watching tv.  that might sound pathetic, but i don't think it is because of how i approach it.  i think analytically about every single thing i watch and dissect every bit of character and story.  i love that taran has such an interest in tv too and also loves going to movies with me.  we both love to read and are happy just lying in bed reading next to each other.  it doesn't take a lot for us to have fun together.

we both center our lives and marriage around Christ.  one of the things i love most about taran is how much he loves the gospel and Christ.  he knows so much about the gospel and the scriptures, it blows me away.  i can be reading the scriptures and ask him a question and he always has the answer.  i love that he read his scriptures for an hour every single day as a teenager.  and he never misses a day of reading the scriptures.  he wakes up and goes immediately to the couch for scripture study.  i love that about him.  he has such a strong testimony and we both put Christ first.  i believe that is the most important thing in a marriage, individually centering your life around Christ.  if you do that, everything else falls into place.

i feel like i have known him my whole life.  when we started dating, i was shocked at how easy it was to talk to him.  there were no awkward pauses ever.  we would just talk and talk and talk.  sometimes i mention a story of my past or something and he doesn't know what i'm talking about, it's almost feel like saying "oh yeah! i forget you weren't there for that! you've only been in my life for 3 years!" i frequently forget he doesn't know every story of my childhood because i feel like he was there for it all.

we are truly soulmates.  i know that some people don't believe in soulmates, but i do.  i always have. as i got to know taran, i truly felt like the other half of myself was appearing in front of my eyes.  i didn't know how i went so long with the other half of me just walking around, not being in my life.  where he is weak, i am strong.  where i am weak, he is strong.  we think the same way, we have the same sense of humor, everything.  i love that we have gotten to a point in our relationship where i can predict what he is thinking, what will make him laugh, what will upset him.  i know what each facial expression means, every step he is going to take.  and i can't wait to get to know him even better everyday for the rest of my life. he's my best friend and there is nothing i feel like i can't tell him.

why do you and your spouse work?

1 comment:

  1. I don't know why Tim and I work we just do, he makes me feel complete and even though he drives me nuts at times I do love him


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