Lot 48: home

May 20, 2016

home


i've been thinking a lot lately about 'where your home is.'  what do you think the definition for home is?

is it where your hat is? (that's a quote from gilmore girls in season 2 when mia comes to town and she is talking to emily about the gap years where emily never saw lorelai but mia was the one who raised her.) is home simply where the people you love are, or is home a feeling you get when you are doing something that makes you happy?

if we were in a country song, i would say "home is where the heart is." country song or a glade commercial.  they both say that.

my parents are selling my childhood home and it is crushing me.  i can't imagine someone else living in that house.  that's my house!! i haven't lived there in 8 years, but i still refer to it as 'home' or 'my house.'  it is 300 miles south of where i live, and when if someone asks, "what are you doing this weekend?" and if i am going to saint george my response always is "i'm going home for the weekend." 

saint george is where i grew up.  its where i lived from ages 5-18.  it's my home.

but it isn't my only home.

i have always said that los angeles is my home too.  i only lived there for 4 months, but the second i arrived, i felt like i had lived there forever.  there was no adjustment period, no culture shock, nothing like that. when i arrived in LA, i felt like i was coming home.

and here in salt lake city, i have lived here for 7 years.  this is my home too. it's where i picked myself up and moved to a brand new city where i knew 1 person.  i made a life for myself here.  its where i went to college and graduated college and figured out how to be an adult after college and where i met my husband. i love it here.

are each of those my homes?  or does the glade commercial speak truth that home is where your heart it?  my friend from my london study abroad (i lived there too! is that my home as well?!) described being in love as "coming home."  that when you are with that person, you are home.  when she said that, i had never really been in love.  but when i fell in love with taran, i completely understood what she was talking about.

taran is my home.  wherever he is, that is my home.  we could be homeless living under a bridge, if he was there, that's my home.  knowing this and feeling this eases the sting of my childhood home being sold.  my biggest concern when my parents announced they were selling was "where do i go when i want to 'go home?'" my childhood home won't be there anymore!!

but does that really matter?  i have a home.  a constant home that goes with me wherever i go and i will follow wherever he goes.  it's interesting when you are on vacation and you are done exploring for the day, and you end up saying "i want to go home." because the hotel you're staying at while you are on vacation is your home.  home seems like a very fluid concept.

i made this playlist a while ago when i was homesick.   homesick for saint george.  these are songs my mom always played in the car driving us around to our activities or on errands.  all these songs bring me right back to my childhood.  billy joel, simon and garfunkel.  they bring me back home because they remind me of home.


there are so many definitions of home. i would love to hear your thoughts.  what is home to you?  where is it?  do you have several?

2 comments:

  1. I've had a struggle with "home" myself. My dad died when I was 19 and even though my mom still lives in the same house that I lived in from birth to HS graduation, it doesn't feel like "home" anymore. My husband has a problem too. His parents divorced at 23. They no longer lived in his childhood home at that point, but he has no way of having a "home". It's tough, but we both understand each other. I guess home is with my husband and our dog!

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  2. It's interesting to think about, isn't it? My childhood home was sold many years ago. While I was still a child, really. I don't know where home really is for me.

    I'm sorry your parents are selling your childhood home. But I'm glad you know that there are so many places that you can consider home and that you're never far from home.

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