Lot 48: i can't write this post without crying

April 29, 2016

i can't write this post without crying

guys, i'm sad.

yet another sister is moving.

it's weird.  you spend your life sharing a home, lives, fighting over clothes and chores and such.  and then one day, you look around and all your sisters, the pieces of yourself are spread out all over the country.  and you don't live in that house together anymore.  nobody does.  just mom and dad do.

the youngest of 3 sisters, my oldest sister went to college when i was 12, and then the rest left in quick succession.  by the time i went to college, i had a sister in oxford, england, washington dc, and provo, utah.  we were all spread out.

year 14-15 we all lived in the same city again.  and it was wonderful.  but now, once again, all my sisters are leaving.  

this sister of mine, the sister closest to me in age, is on is making the selfish decision to move to arizona on saturday so her husband can go to grad school.  sel-fish. with emphasis.  the thought makes me do kim kardashian ugly cry.  oh just kidding, that's what i am doing. 


this era of us sisters living close together is coming to an end.  i don't think she will come back.  and i honestly don't know how much longer taran and i will be here.  who knows?? 

^^when she and her fiance now husband let me come with them to their halloween party.  they were mr and mrs smith.  i was serena vanderwoodsen. best costume i've ever had.^^

^^her wedding^^

of course we had our fights growing up.  she liked to pretend fight me.  like punch me within an inch of my face.  i hated it.  it would make me cry.  but i am just glad we didn't do anything like this to each other, although this article accurately depicts sisterhood.

everybody said we looked exactly alike, especially in high school.  she was a senior when i was a sophomore, and she had brown hair and mine was blonde.  people would walk up to me and say "oh my gosh! rachelle! hi! you dyed your hair!!" this happened all the time.  it was so annoying.  'NO I'M NOT MY SISTER I'M MY OWN PERSON' 15 year old me would think.  'don't clump me my sister!' i did think it try to persuade her multiple times to switch places with me in life for a day at school to see if our teachers would notice.  she wasn't such a fan of that idea.

but now i would kill to have someone associate me with her.  or think i was her.  rachelle is cheerful, positive, and flat out amazing.  i admire her as much as people with no direction in life admire oprah.  she is a rockstar mom.  she has two gorgeous and sassy little girls.  she frequently holds one on each hip while talking on the phone and carrying groceries into the car.  when i ask her for help in these situations, she always says no. #rockstar

she was a competitive gymnast growing up.  she is fearless.  flying across the bars and doing backflips on a beam 4 inches wide.  we went to gymnastics together, and i would be trying to do a cartwheel on the beam that was on the floor, and i would be so scared i would just start crying.  while looking over at my sister.  who was doing multiple backflips.  on a beam that was 4 inches wide.  above the ground. #warrior

i came to visit her at college my freshman year of college once, and it was during halloween and i finally convinced her to swap places with me.  i went to the halloween party with her friends, and everyone thought i was her.  it was freaking awesome.

rachelle, i am going to miss you so, so much.  i know that you aren't too far yet,  just back home, but come august you will be very far away.  too far. but we will always be sisters and thank goodness for planes.

your little sister


  1. This is so sweet!

    When my little sister made the decision to go to college in Connecticut, I was excited for her but also sad because I knew she was done living in California. And, after she graduated last year, she got a job in Boston. She has a serious boyfriend who will probably never leave New England on purpose. She's not coming back to California. I miss her. But I'm really happy for her.

    And yes, thank goodness for airplanes!

  2. I love my sisters, even when they drive me bat shit crazy, we are pretty damn close and see and speak to each other most weeks


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