Lot 48: March 2016

March 24, 2016

have some chocolate

life is rough sometimes.  a lot of the time actually.  there are some days when you are barely holding it together.  people are mean, you feel like you are doing badly at work, you feel ugly or fat, whatever. here's my advice when that happens:

have some chocolate.

last year, i was at one of my volunteer organizations when i overheard one employee crying to another employee about something troubling going on in her personal life.  she was obviously very upset and the situation sounded very serious and really sad.  all the other employee could really do for her was listen and give sympathy and a hug.  at the end of the conversation, she said "here, have some chocolate." 

i've thought a lot about that.  when things aren't going your way or you feel like your whole world is caving in, what is something that makes you feel better? ice cream? wine? chocolate? 

other than using things that could make us fat or alcoholics, i wanted to share something magical i have learned recently.

it's been a bit of a rough go lately as i have struggled to learn how to take 911 calls.  there is so much to learn, i terrified of making mistakes and i am very, very aware that i am the only hope for the callers.  it's a lot of pressure and it has really been getting to me.  so one day, i decided to try something different. 

you know that i chose my word for the year as joy.  i was getting ready for work and was thinking to myself, how do i have joy in doing this incredibly stressful job? i love it, it's where i want to be. i'm so busy occupied by fear i am not taking anytime to have joy in the many people i have protected and helped. so i decided right then and there that i was going to have a good day.  no matter what happened, i wasn't going to let it get me down and i was going to have a joyful day.

i can't tell you what a difference that attitude made.  i made hardly  any mistakes, i was so much happier at work, i was joyful in the work i did and it was such a relief to feel less pressure.  don't think i wasn't taking the lives of the officers and those who called seriously that day, that wasn't the case in the slightest.  i just changed my attitude.  and i did my job so much better.

it's really amazing the power of attitude.  i challenge you to make a conscious choice to have a good day at the start of your day.  to smile through difficulties and let people's not so nice comments slide off your back.   i love that quote by eleanor roosevelt: "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." 

and if choosing to have a good day doesn't work, you can always have some chocolate! 


March 21, 2016

blank over blank

once again, sarah is my inspiration for a blog post.  i don't know where that girl gets her creativity! 

san francisco over miami

crazy stupid love over some kind of beautiful

dr pepper over coke

swimming pools over hot tubs

europe over caribbean

los angeles over san francisco

musicals over straight plays

browsing bookstores over browsing libraries

pizza over pasta 

staying up with pillow talk with the husband over getting enough sleep

best friend moving here for pharmacy school over best friend moving to arizona for pharmacy school

babies over dogs

polar bears over dogs

no sports over sports

no cats over cats

dry heat over humidity

manicures over pedicures

cookies over ice cream

italian food over mexican food

blogging over never blogging

one direction over justin bieber [if i had to choose a tween band/singer]

tv over reading

tv over movies

what are some things that you like best? 

March 10, 2016

what if?

i really loved this post by sarah about nearly missing out on the love of her life by a silly thing like him not being tall enough.  and it made me think. 

what if i hadn't taken that class with my friend where i met taran? what if he hadn't decided to walk into that class? what if he hadn't sat next to me and what if i hadn't started talking to him?  

i know in our love story i mention that we dated a bit when we first met, then fizzled out and didn't speak for 8 months and then started dating seriously a year after we met. 

the truth is, when we first met, i was in a very bad place.  i was not in a place to date.  i was lost, extremely depressed and was barely keeping my head above water.  i was in no way ready to begin a serious relationship.  taran was in a bad place too.  he was frustrated he still had so much school ahead of him when he had already been in school for so long and he came across as a negative guy to me.  i remember so clearly we went to a party with my friend and we were sitting a firepit roasting marshmallows and someone asked him what he did and he said sourly "i'm a professional student. i'll never graduate." and i remember feeling how that rubbed me completely the wrong way because he seemed like such a negative guy.  which is so odd now because taran is not a negative person at all.  he never ever complains.  we both just weren't in good places.

i believe that some people marry have soulmates and some people don't.  that is just how they are built and if they don't believe in soulmates, then they don't marry a soulmate.  but i know that taran is my soulmate.  i know that God set him aside for me.  for those 8 months, there was a lot of growing, a lot of finding what was lost, and a journey back to happiness. 

at the end of those 8 months, i decided i wanted to start dating again.  to start to have joy, to experience life again, to break out of my scared little shell.  i felt impressed that the guy i should ask out was taran.  his name just came popping into my head again and again. 

when i finally called him, our schedules weren't matching up and taran told me later "oh, just forget about it, this is too much trouble." we finally made a date and on our date, i talked about my nieces and nephews too much and then asked him "tell me everything about yours.  what are they like, what are their traits and characteristics, what do they do. what makes them, them."  taran thought that was really weird and he says he remembers thinking "she's weird. i don't think i am going to call her again."  but for some reason, he still wanted to despite my obsession with my babies who i call my own who really aren't.  just like sarah overlooked CB's height in the post i listed above, taran overlooked my what he thought {;)} weird obsession with my niecephews.  

what if.

what if.

there are so many things that have to line up to get your perfect match matched with you.  at the right time, at the right place.  it's really astounding when you think about it.  stars have to align.  of course, being the very religious person i am, i don't think it's stars, i think it's God.  it's God who sent me the greatest gift i have ever recieved.  taran.  that human who is my other half, and i feel incomplete without him. 

i am eternally grateful all those what ifs aligned.  and that we took those months apart to grow and get ready to be together. and that he asked me out again despite my weirdness.  

what if. what if. 

i am glad there are no what if regrets with us. :)

March 4, 2016

my sunday is your friday.

for all of you, today is the first day of your weekend.  for me, today is my sunday. i work 4 10 hour shifts sat - tues so wed-fri are my weekends.  it is really nice to have 3 days off each week.  but they always end up being busier than i would like. they involve way too many errands and chores, none of which i have time for on the days when i work.

1. my mom is in town and yesterday i went to my sister's house to see her and help her babysit the boys while my sister was at the dentist.  it was so much fun because the boys actually wanted to play with me! we played in the sandbox, we played red rover, and played with their toys.  they did so many cute and funny little things i lost count and i loved every minute of it.  they even answered my questions about how their schools are!! 

in the picture above, we were pretending that the rock was a ship and the grass was water. oliver (the one who clearly couldn't care less about the picture) kept pretending to be different sea creatures. such imagination.  all of them are the most amazing, incredible little humans and i learn so much from them. 

2. i finally finally finished breaking bad.  i stopped for a long while after season 2 because it was making me too sad.  but then i started it again and just tore through that thing and it definitely lived up to the hype. except for one thing.  i heard so many people talk about the train episode. "the train episode, the train episode, that's the best episode of all of breaking bad," i would hear people say that all the time. so i got really excited for that episode and after i watched it, i thought 'is that it???' that episode so did not live up to the hype.  i don't understand at all why everyone was freaking out about it.  i think there are other ones that are much, much better than that one. 
so i am in the market for a new show to bing watch and need suggestions, so bring 'em! 

3. i have a scratch on my right eye which i am sure you are every interested about.  but it is very uncomfortable and annoying and inconvenient and i don't know what to do about it. it hurts to close my eyes so it is a bit of a problem. 

4. i would tell you what my weekend plans are but this is my sunday, so today for our last weekend day i think we are going to go use a restuarant gift card on a date and see a movie. there are so many good ones out that i want to see: zootopia, whisky tango foxtrot, triple 9. kung fu panda 3. lots of good movies to see!!

5. i had my teeth cleaned yesterday and i have no new cavities! it's like a miracle!!  take that, sugar!! 

and that's all i got. over and out. i guess life is boring. but i like it. because i love my life right now. have a good weekends friends! be safe!! 

March 2, 2016

my guilty pleasures

guys!! it's been so long! it's a blogger rule to at least address a long absence from your blog, right? i've been completely caught up with my new job that everything else except my marriage and my family have fallen behind. i've missed blogging a lot but had nothing to write about and couldn't really think of anything. nor did i have time to write.

but now that i feel like i have a handle on my new life, hopefully the creative juices will come back and i will find balance again.

i thought it would be fun to write about my guilty pleasures. everybody has them.  i like knowing what other people's are and i like telling people mine to see if we have any in common. i'll tell you mine, you tell me yours! 

1) i have written before about my obsession for the kardashians.  oh i love them so much.  they are so oblivious to the real world.  kim took a flight to paris just to eat her favorite food when she was pregnant with saint.

yes, kim, it is.  but i find them fascinating. and hilarious. i have seen every episode of every spin off they have and anxiously await for KUWTK to return.

some of their finest moments: 

oh kardash dolls. k dolls. dash dolls, as you may call yourselves or your employees. you're all crazy.  thank you for keeping me entertained. 

2) gossip magazines.  i get these on my ipad from the library.  i only get ok magazine  and star.  it's a shame because i think us weekly and people are the more reliable ones, but if i have a few dollars to spend i will pick up a people at the store if there is something extra juicy on the cover.  i just love learning all the celeb gossip.  these magazines are trash, but i can't stop reading them. 

3) real housewives of new york city.   i only watched up to about season 5.  the drama is so ridiculous and fantastic. i wrote about my love for RHONYC here but i can't resist putting in a few gifs.  
4) i also love learning about serial killers.  they fascinate me.  i have to know why they are the way that they are.  what made them that way?  i love knowing their stories and watching movies about them.  if i can stomach the violence.  they fascinate me.  does that make me creepy? 
okay, i told you my guilty pleasures, now you tell me yours!