Lot 48: September 2015

September 28, 2015

the grass is greener

this has been weighing on my mind.  i think it is a habit, us as a society to look at the lives of those around us and judge and envy what the other person has.  to say "look, she just went on this amazing trip, she must have a ton of money.  she goes on vacations all the time, she just went on one."  or "she just had a baby.  i bet they got pregnant right away, i can't get pregnant."  or we scour a person's instagram feeds and think to ourselves "i want her life.  it look like she has so much fun and like she has everything she wants."  we make these assumptions and assume the grass is greener on the other side.  

but how can we be sure the grass is greener on the other side?  how can you be sure the grass isn't green where you are standing?  from the outside looking in, a lot of people could see my life as perfect, but it's not; no one's is.  we don't put on instagram what our hearts really desire, what we really want, our struggles, our pains, our set backs.  we don't share that with the world.  we share on instagram when things look pretty.  i don't post what i am really feeling or thinking.  we all keep our privacy.  and that leads us to assume the grass is greener on the other side.  because we aren't posting the bad.  

but you know what i think?  i think the grass is very, very green, right where you are standing.  why? because it's your life.  you were given a life, a life that is all yours and no one else's.  and that is a gift.  and you should make the most of it.  and stop wishing that you had someone else's gift, someone else's life.  we all have our own struggles and trials and pains.  you don't know if you would actually want x's life.  who knows if you would be happy having it if you actually had it?  i think you would be the most happy if you stopped and looked around at what you have, at what is green on the ground beneath you, and stopped assuming it's green on the other side.  because i bet, the other side's grass is dead and is never nourished or water and you'd hate it. 

September 25, 2015

hey it's friday already

hey! how did we get to friday again? time to wrap the week up by listing things that i'm excited about, things that have happend this week, etc. 

1. the opening of my show is getting so close! we open in ONE WEEK!!  i can't believe it!! there is still a lot of work to be done on the show, but it will get done! i'm just so excited to start doing the show! the thing i am most worried about is mingling with audience members before the dinner theater show starts while i'm in character.  i don't know what to talk about! eeeekk! 

2.  i am really proud of myself for filling my life with meaningful, fulfilling things.  my  volunteer work is really making me happy and is making such a difference in my life.  i am about to hopefully embark on a new volunteer opportunity i had my interview this week so cross your fingers i really want it to work out! 

3. linking up with bailey for blogtember by sharing 3 songs that i am really connecting with right now. 

i found troye sivan through taylor swift's instagram.   she posted that she was listening to him and so i started listening and now i can't stop.  something big is a great pump up LETS DO IT song and stockholm is a soft rock gem that makes you feel cool driving around with the windows down. bam.

4.  wonder how a tv show goes from brain to screen? if you didn't catch it last year, read my post on the anatomy of a television show explaining how exactly a tv series gets made.  speaking of tv, i started watching the mysteries of laura and weird loners.  weird loners only has 6 episodes and hulu only has 5 episodes of the mysteries of laura but it is so good i wish they had all the episodes!! i want more!! TMOL is really really good and i wish i could binge watch the episodes!! i also started binge watching orphan black and WOW OH WOW OH WOW SO GOOD OH MY GOSH. 

5.  it is now officially fall (yay!) and yet here it is 90 degrees still.  apparently the weather didn't get the memo. and i want it to be fall so badly, because you know how i feel about fall!!  is it fall like weather where you live? 
Brave Love Blog

September 24, 2015

one of the best days of my life

i am linking up again with bailey for the blogtember challenge but a few days late with this prompt.  the prompt is, describe one of the best days of your life.  this one was pretty easy, i could point to my wedding day or the day taran proposed, but since you already know those stories, i had to think a little bit harder.  

but i didn't have to think for very long.  this day has always been in mind since it happened 4 years ago.  it was in june, 2011 while i was doing my study abroad in london. we went to kew gardens as a class, beautiful gardens that had many greenhouses and different types of plant life and it was a beautiful day.  we saw a peacock randomly walking around the grounds! 

lily pads!! 

suddenly, it started to rain.  and hard.  i know what you're thinking, it's london, so of course it's raining, but when i lived in london, it was actually during a drought, one of the worst, i think.  it only poured twice in the two months i was there.  i had adopted the habit of not carrying around an umbrella or a jacket with a hood.  so as you can see in the picture above, i was ill equipped to handle pouring rain.  

but i didn't care.  i remember so vividly running through the gardens to shelter laughing hysterically with my friends as we all got soaking wet. after a while, we decided we wanted to go see a matinee of  legally blonde: the musical.  i was so excited because i had been wanting to see it since we got to london. 

we headed to the west end and had lunch at pizza hut.  we all had a rule we weren't going to eat at any america restaurants while we were there, but we were so hungry and wet that we didn't care.  and the pizza and pasta and salad lunch buffet hit the spot.  we hid out in the pizza hit eating and laughing while we got warm and dry.

and then we headed to the musical.  and it turned out to be one of my favorite musicals that i have ever seen.  i have never had so much fun just watching a musical!  and what was so funny was watching brits try to be american.  it was hilarious to see how they view us and to see them do american accents and you could really tell some jokes in the script that were american that they didn't really get.  it was so funny.  if you can ever see that musical, i don't know if it is still running, you should see it for sure!! 

by the time we got out of the show, the sun was shining and we were completely dry.  it was one of the best days of my life.  filled with laughter and fun and music and gardens and beauty and friends and new experiences.  i remember like it was yesterday.  and sometimes, if i am having a bad day, i think back to that day, and suddenly it isn't so bad.  

Brave Love Blog

September 22, 2015

new fall tv shows

it is that time again! my favorite time of year! and not just fall.  but new fall tv shows!!
in case you haven't read my explanation of the anatomy of a tv show, how a tv show is made, read part i here and part ii here.

i wanted to share what my shows i am most excited about this fall.

blindspot sept 21 10 PM on NBC
how cool does that look?!?! i can't wait to watch it and see why she has all those tattoos and see what the story is behind her!
the grinder sept 29 8:30 PM on FOX
i love rob lowe and this show looks so funny! i can't wait to see how this plays out and see if it is as funny as it looks!

 grandfathered sept 29 8:00 pm on FOX
well hellooooo john stamos, lovely to see you again. this show looks hilarious and i can't wait to see it. it's already been getting a lot of buzz. so i am sure you have already heard of it and are excited too.

life in pieces sept 21 8:30 PM on CBS
i feel like this show is going to try to be the new modern family. which should be interesting. it might bomb or be hilarious. we shall see.

 angel from hell nov 5 9:30 CBS
when i saw this trailer i was laughing so hard! i am really, really excited for this show! it looks sooo funny and jane lynch's character looks hilarious! i can't wait to see it! wish i didn't have to wait until november.

 the catch {not sure when this airs}

i love espionage shows like this. and it is a shonda rhimes show! so i can't wait. i wish they would nail down a premiere date! 

 what shows are you excited for?

September 18, 2015


hey hey hey it's friday! and i am so happy that it is!! a few good things are happening today that i am excited about!! 

1. you all know that i hate having long hair.  it's that time again.  it is far too long and is time to chop it off to that magical spot that is always my rule of thumb: the collarbone.  keep it at the collarbone, people, and nobody gets hurt.  my hair is just so d*** thick i can't stand it when it's long.  i'm drowning in it!! 

2. the state fair!! it's been going on for a week and we will go tonight or tomorrow, a few pictures from last year...

don't you love fairs? i do!! they are so much fun!! it poured rain a few days this week, so it will probably be muddy on the grounds, but that won't keep us away!! i'm so excited! 

3. speaking of excited, tomorrow is producer's preview for my show!! {quick recap if you don't know: i am in a salem witch trials dinner theater show that will run the month of october.  i play the town judges bratty daughter who at the end turns out to be the lead witch of the coven. it's a lot of fun and i am so happy to be back in the saddle of acting again after a 6 year hiatus!}  so tomorrow at rehearsal we get to do the show at a restaurant we will do the show and, i get to try on my costume, we will have sound, and it will start to feel real! i'm really excited! we have worked so hard and are so close to opening! i can't wait!

4.  i'm so glad that belinda is doing a friday linkup! i always look forward to her friday posts and now i can linkup with her on fridays! her friday posts are always the most fun with her starbucks selfie and are so uplifting and make me look forward to the weekend even more! 

5.  the emmy's are this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhh!!!! this is my superbowl!!! as an aspiring comedy writer, i make sure to never miss watching the emmys, and since i don't have a working tv, i have to go to my in laws to watch.  i look forward to this time of year every year and i can't WAIT!! this year i am seriously considering putting on a gown to go watch, to make me feel like i am actually attending. i'm serious, i probably will.  watch instagram, because there is no way i would do that and not instagram it.

have a happy weekend!! 

September 16, 2015

love your body

we are far too hard on ourselves not only when it comes to ourselves in general, but especially when it comes to our bodies. i wanted to share some inspirational body image quotes i found from this buzzfeed article that really made me feel better about myself and made me think.  i hope they lift you up as they did me! 

 {classic quote}


this one kind of shocked me.  it's hard to think tswift has body issues.  she is a stick. 

have a wonderful wednesday!

September 15, 2015

the power of saying i love you

lately i have been thinking about the power of saying i love you.  it is a big phrase.  not to be taken lightly and something people should hear often in their life.  my dad made a point of saying i love you to each of us girls every single day of our lives growing up.  he would say to us "{insert daughter's name here] have i told you today that i love you?" if the answer was yes, he would say it again, if the answer was no, he would say it.  he says that once he dated a girl who told him that her father never told her that he loved her.  he promised himself he was never going to be that kind of father.  he promised himself he was going to make sure that his children knew they were loved unconditionally.

when i totaled his car, sure, my dad was mad, but the first thing he said to me was "you are worth more to me than any car.  all that matters is that you are okay."  we say i love you a lot in my family.  it is how we say goodbye in each phone call, it is a frequent phrase we say to each other.  the other day in church, the speaker was talking about how his family never said i love you.  he spoke of how his friend's family always said it and how he craved to have that in his own family.  he started saying i love you to his family members and how it made them very uncomfortable.  but after a while, they started saying it back. 

over labor day weekend when i was home and all my sisters were home too and it was a big family gathering, my sweet nieces and nephews had these stickers that said sweet "i love yous" and such.  they kept walking over to me and putting them on my arms and telling me they loved me.  it melted my heart.  there is a great power in saying i love you.  every one needs to know they are loved.  it breaks my heart when i hear from that a family doesn't say it freely amongst each other.  i love yous should be said often among family members.  among lovers, it should be said often.  every one needs to be loved and needs to be reminded they are loved.  i think that is a basic human necessity.  it's a human need.  a man can say i love you to you once, you can date him, but i think he needs to keep saying it.  over and over again.  my husband and i say it to each other roughly 10 times a day.  

love makes the world go round.  love is necessary.  the power of love is one of the greatest powers on earth.  as said in moulin rouge, "the greatest thing is to love and be loved in return."  i truly believe that love is one of the greatest gifts God has given us and is not to be taken for granted.  

LOVE!! insert heart emojis! i challenge you to tell your family members you love them, to tell your friends you love them, your lovers, whomever you love, say it more often! saying i love you is not something that should only be said on valentines day!! 

and to you, dear reader, i love you!! thanks for reading this here blog and keep coming back! thank you for reading my ramblings and allowing me to do this hobby that i love so much! i love you, reader! 

 love on! 

September 14, 2015

5 books that impacted me the most

hello hello!! i hope you all had a great weekend!! i did! we threw a surprise 30th birthday party for my sister andrea (white shirt)! it was so much fun being sneaky and i was SO EXCITED to see her face when she walked in! her jaw just DROPPED and she just didn't know what to do with herself!! my sister jessica (striped shirt) is so creative and any party she touches it looks like pinterest threw up all over it.  she is so talented.  i am in constant awe of her skills.  look at that backdrop she made! 

 and my parents had spent countless hours pouring over old pictures of andi to put on poster boards of her growing up and wrote little facts about her on them. everything looked so great and so many people had made such yummy food too! it was a great success!! 

today's prompt for blog-tember challenge is 5 books that have impacted me the most.  this was a hard thing to come up with! but here we go anyway..

most impactful books
lorelai from gilmore girls wrote this book, which makes it even more awesome.  it is about a struggling actress in NYC.  the reason this book is on this list is that the majority of us are usually terrified to go after our dreams.  to face them, to try to succeed, to put our energy and time into them and be brave and dare to fail.  this book is so well written and is really focuses on the struggles being an actress in NYC.  i love that it was written by an actress, and the narration is not lost in that.  you can really tell it was written from experience.  this book is inspiring and when i was finished i wanted to stand up and break into inspirational song. 

most impactful books
from my "some of my favorite reads" post, you know that sarah addison allen is one of my favorite authors.  this book impacted me because it is about two sisters who are night and day different, haven't spoken in years, are estranged and in the midst of struggle, come together when they need each other the most.  i think often times we feel like an outsider in our families.  i love how this book explores that and ends with family finding common ground.

most impactful books
the harry potter series.  i'm sorry guys, but i had to.  i don't think i really need to explain why this impacted me.  or do i?  what kid wasn't impacted by an average boy who could fight evil and was so special? Harry made me feel like i was special.  like i was capable of greatness.  from ages 11-20+.  he still makes me feel that way.  that is what j.k rowling did for all of us. she made kids all over the world feel special, like they could accomplish anything and that being different was okay.  aside from the brilliance of the stories and the layers and layers of character and story, that is also the brilliance of this series.  i think that is why they should have made the movies and made a theme park out of it.  because how it made kids feel about themselves, not because it was about magic and evil wizards and other awesomeness.  

most impactful books
you know who elizabeth smart is, right? she was abducted from her home in salt lake city, (where i live) when she was 14 by an insane man who believed he was a prophet and that he was to create a new world by bringing everyone down to filth in order to build the world up again.  he also believed that he was to take 100 or so 14 year old wives.  elizabeth was in capture for 9 months before she was found, largely attributed to her smarts.  her book is incredibly inspiring.  i don't know how she survived such evil, such hard tragedy.  the things he did to her, the things he made her do, the things she had to endure.  i don't know if i would have survived.  this girl is incredible.  the most amazing thing was her attitude about it all.  she never once lost her faith in God, in her hope, and most amazing, once home, she refused to let her captor brian david mitchell take one more second of her life.  she moved on with her life, became an activist, and was determined to be happy and not let her life be wasted by any more thoughts of her 9 month capture or to dwell on any of the bad and only think of the positive.  she is truly an incredibly person.  her story knocked me off my feet. 

most impactful books
i read this 5 years ago, and it really helped me to understand people.  it puts people in four categories, or four personalities and explains how each personality ticks and how these personalities react and interact with each other.  after i read this book, my relationships improved greatly and i understood finally why i didn't get along with certain people, why i got along with others better and with some best.  if you want a crash course on understanding people, read this book!

Brave Love Blog

September 11, 2015

who inspires me?

i am joining in again today for the blog-tember challenge.  today: who inspires me?  well, the answer is really quite simple.  i guess with my recent announcement on instagram, i guess the cat is out of the bag.  i am a performer.  well, i used to be, but i am now again.  but in reality, i always have been.  it is a passion so strong that it has never left me.  i dream of being in a show one night every single week.  the passion runs through my veins.  i haven't been in a show in 6 years, and then all of a sudden, a few weeks ago, an old performer friend contacted me and begged me to replace her in a show she couldn't do.  the opportunity to do t his show fell right into my lap.  no audition, no nothing.  and suddenly, the next day, i was at rehearsal.  

and it was like riding a bike.  i fell right back into it.  i felt like i hadn't skipped a beat.  i was right back to where i was.  sure, it had been 6 years, but it felt like it hadn't been a second since i had since been in a show.  that friend of mine, mindy, she is like my fairy godmother.  she gave me such a gift of getting back into performing, something i had desperately been wanting to get back into doing but had been too scared to do.  and then now, here i am.  in a halloween traveling dinner theater show.  and it's excellent.

in performing, whenever i am in a show, i give 1000%.  that is an area where i never have trouble giving 1000% to and where i can't not give 1000% to.  it doesn't matter if there are 8 people in the audience, i am going to give them the best show that i can give.  i am going to give them all i can.  so it's understandable there are a few ladies i look to inspire me and give me that extra push, those who i aspire to be.  who are queens of the art of performing, masters of the voice. experts.  

beyonce.  bey.  queen b.  she really needs to stop wearing naked dresses and for heaven's sake, bey, you are a mother.  you have a daughter.  what example are you setting for her.  but man oh MAN are you a queen of the voice.  if i could ever be half the singer you are, i would be successful and consider myself good.  the other day in rehearsal, i thought about something you said, how when you were in obsessed you felt off kilter and scared because you didn't sing in that movie and singing is your crutch.  and in that movie, you only had to act, and singing is your strong suit.  

it's mine too. and in this show, i only act.  and i don't consider myself to be much of an actress.  at all.   it is not a strong suit of mine.  oh why oh why can't i sing in this show, if i only could, i would feel so much more comfortable.  i would feel more at home.  granted, there is nowhere else i feel most at home than on a stage.  but if i could just sing in this show, i would feel more calm.  but no, i am just to act, and that is far out of my comfort zone. 

A video posted by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

you are a master.  can i be a master too? teach me your ways.  you inspire me to no end.  thank you for getting me through this show where i don't have my crutch.  because sometimes you don't have yours either, and sometimes you feel self conscious too, and that makes me feel a whole of a lot better. i also really love her hair. 

who inspires you?  i would love to hear! 

here's to queen bey! 

Brave Love Blog