this week's you are beautiful post is difficult for me to write. this whole being let go from my job thing has gotten me down like somebody hit me with a big baseball bat over and over. like im bleeding on the sidewalk and i'm expected to get up and walk a thousand miles afterwards.
we got some bad news regarding my husband's job, and to make a long story short, we are screwed.
i have God. i have the one and only who will take care of my husband and i. we obey the gospel, we keep the commandments, we pay tithing, we will be okay. but honestly and truthfully, it is hard for me to have faith. getting news about taran's job on tuesday really threw a curveball at me. it wavered my faith. i am scared. i really really really am terrified. but this song helps.
it comes and goes. my faith. sometimes i'm angry, sometimes i feel peace. i'm not ashamed. we are all human. God gives us trials so we can become what he knows we can become. to reach our potential. it is our purpose in life to become like Him, and the only way to do that is not only see the sun, but to be enveloped in darkness. going through trials is the only way we can become more like Him.
sometimes i think that i was put on earth to experience pain, not joy. but no. it is the other way around. this quote is what is getting me through.
we can be upset, we can wonder why this hell is happening. we can be angry and sad and furious. but in the end, there is no reason for any of that. because God will always, always always take care of you. always.
no reason to be scared. no reason to be terrified. if you will just believe, obey and endure. sounds easy, but it isn't. it isn't easy for me, at least. i am a pessimist by trait. when we bought our new car in decemeber, i said to taran "watch. in a few months one of us will lose our jobs and we won't be able to afford this." and look where we are. just barely scraping by in all areas.
but God has not left us. He is blessing us financially and we are making car payments, rent, all our bills. we even had enough to splurge on chromecast (which is aaaa-mazing). for those of you who aren't familiar with the Atonement and what is means to the LDS church, we believe Christ felt all the hardships and pain that we will ever feel in this lifetime. He bled on the cross, you all know that, He sacrificed Himself so we could give our pain to him. i feel the Lord carrying me. i feel Him helping me through each painful day.
these quotes help. a lot. they are things i hold onto. we will survive. i am faithful. my faith is shaken some hours of the day, but i always come back to Him, knowing that He will protect, take care of us. there is literally nothing that i am more grateful for than the LDS gospel. i would be absolutely nothing without it. who would i pray to? who would comfort me? who would i hold onto? i apologize if this post is offensive to some, if you don't believe in God, i truly hope this wasn't offensive. this is just my "you are beautiful" post at this time. i am faithful. and that is the only worthwhile trait i can hold onto right now.
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