Lot 48: the good lie

February 24, 2015

the good lie

this post is about to get real very fast.  you all know i lost my job the day i got back from my san fransisco trip and things have been very, very hard.  my husband's hours at his work were sliced in half a few weeks before i lost my job, so this hit really hit us big time.  some days i wake up and i'm okay.  some days i wake up and i feel like i'm drowning and there is a knot in my stomach and it won't go away until the afternoon.  i am always terrified of waking up, and delay going to sleep.  i've been having terrible nightmares, and you know you life isn't  the best when you have a dream you lost your job and you wake up and realize it wasn't a dream; it's real.  

this past weekend i was looking at the rebox app on my phone when i saw this movie and watched the trailer.  i am so glad i did.  this movie completely changed my perspective on how blessed i am, how lucky i am, how amazing my life is, and made me stop my pity party.  

the film is about a family from sudan who lose their parents and several other loved ones from their village during the civil war.  they walk hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of miles to get to a refugee camp, where they spend 13 years waiting for the lucky chance to get sent to America.  13 years.  one blessed day, they get sent to America, but their sister gets separated from them as the boys get sent to kansas city and the girl gets sent to boston.  the film is about them adapting to American life and reese is with the company that sponsored them to bring them to America.  her job is to get them jobs, but gets more involved than that because #characterdevelopment and #whatkindofmoviewoulditbeifthatdidn'thappen 

one of my good friends from college went to kenya for 3 weeks a few summers ago to work at an orphanage.  she is one of the most well read, world news aware, live in a tent in the middle of nowhere to help people i have ever met.  she is a very special person.  we lost touch for a while but when i got married we had lunch to catch up.  hearing about the horrors she saw in kenya made me sick to my stomach.  i couldn't imagine what she saw and what she had to endure while she was there.  this movie helped me just a tiny tiny bit to understand better.

these people are warriors.  they are good, kind, respectful, honest people.  when they get to America, they don't know what a phone is.  they are amazed when they get settled at their apartment and they turn on the water in the sink.  they had been getting water from inside of trees.  one of them had scars on his arm from fighting off a freaking lion.  they lived in huts.  one of them on the flight to America didn't know what butter was so she just ate it straight.  

i am so embarrassed that i have been upset and been having a hard time because i lost my job.  i am so incredibly blessed.  our apartment, oh our apartment is so cozy, it's warm, our bed is like laying on heaven (thanks mom and dad), i have blankets and food and shoes and a family who wasn't shot by soldiers in the civil war.  i didn't have to walk hundreds of miles to get to safety.  i have a car, the nicest car i've ever had, its warm and it works and its sleek and i love it.  i have all my sisters who are 20 miles away and my parents who are 300 miles away.  i have a computer, heat, warm socks, a washer and dryer in my apartment.  i can't believe how blessed i am.  since applying for jobs i have gotten several interviews.  i have my God, my Lord, the One whom i can always trust, call upon, and comfort me.  i have my amazing, wonderful saint of a husband whom i love more than anything else on earth.  

shame on me for having a pity party and allowing the moment i lost my job to keep rolling in my head and letting it upset me.  i am blessed.  i am loved.  i have a huge group of supporters.  i have never fought off a lion.  i'm so proud to be an American.  i am so blessed and humbled to have everything i have.  the movie was so spiritual for me i felt like i was at church.  reese has a surprisingly small role in it as it is mostly about the refugees.  

if you need to be slapped back into reality, watch this movie.  it will absolutely make you humble and feel immeasurably blessed.

so tonight say an extra prayer to God and thank Him for all you have.  look around and see every bit of blessings you have.  because i am sure you have oh so many.


  1. I love this post because it's such a deep moment for you and it takes so much self-awareness and strength to have this kind of realization. I lived in India for a month and when I go home I cried constantly when I realized how blessed and spoiled I truly am. The world is hurting, and it's ok for me to hurt materially sometimes, but there are people out there that are going through things I've never imagined. I'm so glad you're finding peace and I will definitely have to check this movie out!

  2. This is great. Don't feel bad for feeling bad about the situation - it's normal. Sometimes things happen that make you realize something, and this sounds like one of those moments!

  3. Beautiful post. But please don't be so hard on yourself for feeling bad, it's okay. Things happen in life that we can't always control and it's human nature to react to them. You are SUCH a good person for having a positive outlook and turning it all around. You will get something amazing and I'm glad you realize how blessed you are, that's a beautiful thing!

  4. This is a great post. I hadn't heard of this movie, but I'm going to have to look for it.

    I'm glad it helped you look at your situation and see the blessings you have. Life is good, isn't it?

  5. Thanks for sharing girl, praying for you!!!

  6. Keep your chin up! It will get better! It always does!

  7. I think it's normal that we all have those moments where we just lose it. But then we gain perspective and realize that even though our situations aren't ideal, we are still pretty darn lucky and blessed! Thinking of you!

  8. I have that movie on my to watch list! I may just watch it tomorrow.

    I think it's absolutely normal to feel upset about your situation. I felt that way and it's part of the process of changing gears to something new. I am blessed too and try to keep thinking of the bigger picture.

    Again will keep you in my prayers hun <3

  9. This is a really really great reminder!! I'm also delaying going to sleep most nights. :( I just realized it the other day... for the past few years I've liked going to bed early but recently I want to stay up as late as possible because I want to delay tomorrow coming. :(


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