Lot 48: February 2015

February 27, 2015

the worst part of being unemployed +blogger love

today i am cohosting blogger love with mean at all the joys! time to share some blogger love
All the Joys - Blogger Love

now keep in mind, i am waaaaay behind on my blog reading so these are old

i loved jana's instructions of how to write a pitch email to a brand.  as my blog is getting bigger and i want to expand and work with brands, this was extremely helpful.

i loved natalie's post about feeling inadequate/jealous/untalented when it comes to reading other people's blogs.  i feel that way all the time!

and of course, this post from the person i want to be when i grow up, belinda.  she is just so positive and inspiring and i really really wish i was more like her! anyway, the post is about approaching spring cleaning for your brain.  wiping out all negativity and stress and taking the time to enjoy and be peaceful.  love her! 

linkup below if you have some blogger love you want to share! 

the other day, i was wondering what i should write about so i texted juliette and told her to tell me what to write about.  she came up with this brilliant idea to write about the worst parts of being unemployed and jobs that i would hate to do. i think it's a fabulous idea!! 

the worst parts of being unemployed

it's boring. the first day after i was fired was the hardest.  i woke up at 8 am and had a crushing thought of "i have nowhere to go.  nowhere to be. i was let go."  that was the longest day but then i became a champion sleeper and now sleep until 130 pm everyday which is when taran gets home.  sleeping in as long as possible eases the pain.  anything to make the days shorter.  most days i don't even leave the house.  i read, apply for jobs, do laundry (because it is endless!) clean, and watch ugly betty.  because oh how i have missed ugly betty.  and really, i have a ton of books to read that i haven't had time to read and now i do, and i love it.  i can read for hours a day and i love it.  and also, before i was let go, i was sooooo exhausted.  my job was very demanding and i was very much out of my league.  i was always so exhausted.  and i was terrified every minute i was there.  i knew i had to take something off my plate in order to be happy and now something huge has been taken off my plate.  

you feel useless definitely useless given how i spend my days.  and given how i spend my days i feel useless.  so i have decided to start volunteering again.  i want to volunteer at the city's soup kitchen.  and help my sister jessica who is very very pregnant and has a husband who is rarely home because he is in his intern year of being a doctor and works 30 hours shifts back to back.  i'm exhausted just reading that.  30 hour shifts!! being a doctor is not for the weak!

applying for jobs sucks  it enrages me when i have to put in every single job i have ever had in my application.  WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOOK AT MY FREAKING RESUME.  it is the worst.  it is tedious and awful.  but applying for jobs makes me feel like i am actually doing something productive.

you feel your iq dropping each day  i really do.  that is why i do the social fabric collective bias classes so i learn something.  and i feel like reading makes me use my brain. i just have to use my brain everyday or i go crazy.

rejection letters hurt  nobody likes being rejected.  it isn't fun to get rejected.  i have only been rejected so far from a job i didn't even interview for, the position was just filled.  but i have gone on three interviews so far and got the first interview i went to, but it wasn't the right fit for me.  i got a bad feeling about it, so i turned it down.  i took a very scary leap of faith.  when i was offered my last job, i got a bad feeling but took it anyway.  and look where we are.  i will not ignore my gut any longer.  actually it isn't my gut, it is God whispering in my ear what to do.  thank goodness for Him.

have you ever been unemployed? 

February 26, 2015

just 50lbs of books: men tell all

did you catch my guest post at the rachael way yesterday?  it is a good story from my childhood! 
on this here blog today, i am linking up with heavens to betsy!! i love asking my guy questions! 

1 // if you could write a book, what topic would you write about and why? the biodesign process because it would help me learn it even better and i would be able to pass whatever small nuggets of knowledge on which would make me feel good.

2 // what is one thing on your bucket list, or one thing that you'd like to do or accomplish in your lifetime?  i want to go to rome with you.  and greece.  {oh that's so sweet! i can't wait to do that either babe!}

3 // if you could look out your window and only see one view for the rest of your life, what would you want to see? the temple we were married in with your face on it.

4 // imagine you're opening a shop.  what are you selling?  if this were possible i would want to sell cheap medical devices so more people can have more medical procedures without going into major debt.

5 // if you could have 50lbs of anything other than money, what would it be?  books.  fantasy books, textbooks about things i'm interested in, classical literature.  just books i would want to read. 

6 // time to brag on your girl...tell us one thing that makes you proud of your girlfriend/fiance/wife!  i am proud of how she has grown her blog!  it has been an amazing thing to watch from the past year going from 18 followers to how many she has now.  i am also proud of her strength.  well you have had many many hardships this past year and you don't give up! 


and now i want to introduce you to laynah from rose gold and ringlets!! when i first read her blog, i got kind of obesessed with her and started stalking her and emailing her and was like "we must be friends" in not a creepy way AT ALL! i just love her love story, that she got married in the LA LDS temple (so jealous! LA is my favorite city in the world!) and that she lives in california!! i want to be her bestie and when we go visit LA in april, i will definitely force her to meet me because my obsession is just at that point.  she is funny and sweet and sarcastic and all the good stuff.  read her blog now. 

1.Tell us a little bit about what we will find on your blog.  Life? Recipes? Fitness?  I don't take myself or my blog too seriously so I don't really know what category I fall under...lifestyle, I guess? Part of me wishes I could be a fashion blogger but I'm definitely not cool enough for that haha, so I honestly just ramble about whatever comes to mind. I tend to overshare (I've been told that I have NO filter) but honestly I don't mind putting myself out there because I'm a super open person and I think that we could all learn something from others' experiences, so there's nothing to hide.

2. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would it be?
Can I say my future self?? I feel like if my life was a roller coaster, childhood was getting buckled up and ready, and I am at the part right now where we're climbing that first hill..and it feels like I've been climbing this hill for a LONG time!  My husband and I have been "trying" for over a year and I'd ask me how long it took us to have a baby, or if we ended up adopting. I'd ask about the bad habits I shouldn't start, and the good ones that I need to start now.

3. Describe your perfect Saturday: If you look a few posts back in my blog, I created this "Marriage Board" with a chore chart/scripture reading chart/a years worth of Saturday date ideas. There's enough "adventure" ideas for us to have two adventures a month, and I LOVE LOVE crossing things off of that list!. The one I'm most excited for is zip lining in Wrightwood or the lava tube hike.

4. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? Or, what is your favorite place you have traveled to?  Africa! Yes, yes, I know, Ebola. But I've been obsessed with Africa for the longest time and I would die for a magical African Safari vacay. 

5. if you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be? Ohhh gosh there are so many things to tell my younger self...first of all, of all the things you screwed up in your life, dont worry - you're not gonna screw up when you choose a husband (that's gotta count for something). I would have a stern talking to with my younger self, because that's what she needed! But then I would soften up a little bit and remind her of the great worth she has that she is completely unaware of. I would also show her a picture of her biological dad, because even though he's out of the picture, it was quite a shock to find out that I have his smile when I was 23 years old.

isn't she fantastic?  i love her!! 

February 25, 2015

i confess.... that this post is a bunch of thoughts needing to get out of my head

Making Melissa

i confess..... that i don't know how celebrities do it.  when i was flying back from my san fransisco trip i was so tired i wanted to cry.  we had walked practically for 3 days and seen so much i was so beyond exhausted.  i read the latest cosmo issue on the plane where gwen stefani gave an interview.  the interview started out by the reporter saying she was running on 4 hours of sleep and had a cold but you would never know because she was still bubbly and excited to do the photoshoot. i thought about how exhausted i was and thought to myself, "how do celebrities live like that?" i am sure that is a normal day for her.  

i confess.... that i am on this huge kick of reading a bunch of celebrity memoirs.  my favorite one so far has been amy poehler's "yes please."  she is so honest and really hit me right in my soul.  i liked it so much i bought it because i want to read certain parts again and again.  the problem with her book, though, is that she was trying to be funny 70% of the time and it got kind of exhausting. i just wanted to hear about her life, what she thinks and feels, and for the most part she did.  she also talked a lot about how hard it was to write a book (and her book is looooooooong) and that made me feel like 'okaaay...... i'm sorry? do you want me to apologize to you?'

i confess..... that i have this weird thing where if i go somewhere, on vacation, road trip, even to the pool, if i don't use everything i bring, i freak out.  i have this obsession where i have to use everything i brought with me.  everything.  it's weird and also annoying because i get oddly sad when a book i brought to read on vacation hasn't even been cracked open. 

i confess..... that the oscars are weird.  all the movies that are nominated usually aren't movies that are popular.  when the nominees are announced, 99% of the movies i haven't even heard of.  just in case you don't know, the studio submits their film to the Academy Awards people and then everyone in that club vote.  so it is more like a popularity contest, studios campaign for it.  in hollywood, there is a weekly magazine called the hollywood reporter and around award season, it is filled with ads with a big title at the top that say "for your consideration... birdman for best picture" and so on and so on.  it really is just a popularity contest.  it's weird.  and seems kind of pointless to me.  it sounds like high school. or a political race. 

 i confess.... that when i am having a really hard day i know my mood will change drastically if i could just hold a squishy, sweet baby.  like my niece of nephew.  or play with an older kid, like my toddler nieces and nephews.  they calm me and relax me.  they make me feel safe and warm.  

i confess..... that i am 80% done with courtney robertson's tell all bachelor book and it was a really fun read, i haven't been able to put it down.  the show sounds like prison.  they get "yard time" where they can exercise, they don't get a tv, magazines, books, nothing.  they just sit there for days until they get called on a date.  i didn't watch ben flajnik's season so i didn't know who she was so i kept looking up pictures of the other contestants she talked about so i could picture it, and i know she was portrayed as a villain, and in her book, she is very open and honest and really is a villain kind of person.  i didn't particularly like her but i really didn't like ben in the book.  he was a complete and total *$&#(  he was such a jerk to her, i can't believe she held on that long. 

i confess.... that the style section and beauty sections of cosmo really really stress me out.  i don't know what mascara to buy!! what if i don't look good in what is deemed spring's hottest look?  that's why i like elle because even though it is a fashion magazine through and through, they have amazing writers and reporters that write incredible stories about incredible people.  i feel smart when i read it. 

i confess..... that i fear i will lose myself as a person when i become a mother.  that i won't be lauren anymore.  that i won't get to be myself, i'll just be a mom and not a human.  that is why i want to travel and get everything on my bucket list done before we have kids, because i feel like once i become a mother, i won't get to have a life or be a person. is that weird?

whew! that was a lot of confessions! happy humpday! 

February 24, 2015

the good lie

this post is about to get real very fast.  you all know i lost my job the day i got back from my san fransisco trip and things have been very, very hard.  my husband's hours at his work were sliced in half a few weeks before i lost my job, so this hit really hit us big time.  some days i wake up and i'm okay.  some days i wake up and i feel like i'm drowning and there is a knot in my stomach and it won't go away until the afternoon.  i am always terrified of waking up, and delay going to sleep.  i've been having terrible nightmares, and you know you life isn't  the best when you have a dream you lost your job and you wake up and realize it wasn't a dream; it's real.  

this past weekend i was looking at the rebox app on my phone when i saw this movie and watched the trailer.  i am so glad i did.  this movie completely changed my perspective on how blessed i am, how lucky i am, how amazing my life is, and made me stop my pity party.  

the film is about a family from sudan who lose their parents and several other loved ones from their village during the civil war.  they walk hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of miles to get to a refugee camp, where they spend 13 years waiting for the lucky chance to get sent to America.  13 years.  one blessed day, they get sent to America, but their sister gets separated from them as the boys get sent to kansas city and the girl gets sent to boston.  the film is about them adapting to American life and reese is with the company that sponsored them to bring them to America.  her job is to get them jobs, but gets more involved than that because #characterdevelopment and #whatkindofmoviewoulditbeifthatdidn'thappen 

one of my good friends from college went to kenya for 3 weeks a few summers ago to work at an orphanage.  she is one of the most well read, world news aware, live in a tent in the middle of nowhere to help people i have ever met.  she is a very special person.  we lost touch for a while but when i got married we had lunch to catch up.  hearing about the horrors she saw in kenya made me sick to my stomach.  i couldn't imagine what she saw and what she had to endure while she was there.  this movie helped me just a tiny tiny bit to understand better.

these people are warriors.  they are good, kind, respectful, honest people.  when they get to America, they don't know what a phone is.  they are amazed when they get settled at their apartment and they turn on the water in the sink.  they had been getting water from inside of trees.  one of them had scars on his arm from fighting off a freaking lion.  they lived in huts.  one of them on the flight to America didn't know what butter was so she just ate it straight.  

i am so embarrassed that i have been upset and been having a hard time because i lost my job.  i am so incredibly blessed.  our apartment, oh our apartment is so cozy, it's warm, our bed is like laying on heaven (thanks mom and dad), i have blankets and food and shoes and a family who wasn't shot by soldiers in the civil war.  i didn't have to walk hundreds of miles to get to safety.  i have a car, the nicest car i've ever had, its warm and it works and its sleek and i love it.  i have all my sisters who are 20 miles away and my parents who are 300 miles away.  i have a computer, heat, warm socks, a washer and dryer in my apartment.  i can't believe how blessed i am.  since applying for jobs i have gotten several interviews.  i have my God, my Lord, the One whom i can always trust, call upon, and comfort me.  i have my amazing, wonderful saint of a husband whom i love more than anything else on earth.  

shame on me for having a pity party and allowing the moment i lost my job to keep rolling in my head and letting it upset me.  i am blessed.  i am loved.  i have a huge group of supporters.  i have never fought off a lion.  i'm so proud to be an American.  i am so blessed and humbled to have everything i have.  the movie was so spiritual for me i felt like i was at church.  reese has a surprisingly small role in it as it is mostly about the refugees.  

if you need to be slapped back into reality, watch this movie.  it will absolutely make you humble and feel immeasurably blessed.

so tonight say an extra prayer to God and thank Him for all you have.  look around and see every bit of blessings you have.  because i am sure you have oh so many.

February 23, 2015

third and final day in san fransisco!!!!

sunday, february 15 was our final day in san fransisco.  {catch up on day one here and day two here}i was sooooo tired.  we had been on our feet for two days!! but today we were going to golden gate park with my family and go to the california academy of sciences in golden gate park.  we packed everything up as we were going to stay with my other cousin that night as the airport was about 20 minutes from her house.  the drive from san carlos where had been staying up to san fran was so gorgeous!! we saw so many lakes and just gorgeous mountains! i love california! 

we made it to golden gate park and were ready to check out the museum but i was in desparate need of a diet dr pepper. 

 my cousin was a member of the museum so we didn't have to pay when we got in, we were so grateful! the museum was amazing! but, it was "all nautral" so they had NO SODA. which meant no diet dr pepper for lauren.  if you know me, this means big trouble.

they decided to show us the earthquake exhibit and from our boat tour the day before, we knew all about the 1906 earthquake and the 198? earthquakes.  this exhibit showed you what it felt like to be in the earthquake. 

 we went into this fake little dining room and held onto the rails as it shook.  it was crazy! {although when my cousin's wife told us we were going to a dining room i thought they meant a real one, like one that might have diet dr pepper?? nope.}

 after that, we saw this awesome dude, who at first totally freaked me out but it's ooookay.  he is a white alligator, i had never seen one before or knew they existed.  my cousin told us that he (or she?) had never been laying on the rock when they had come.  and it moved a toe guys! a toe! we got a real show.

then we went to the planetarium where a woman narrated about the ecosystems and i fell asleep.  i am so horrible because when we sat down i looked at taran, king of falling asleep every time he sits down (he fell asleep on the drive from san carlos to san fran) and said "don't fall asleep, i mean it!" but then i did.  and i never fall asleep in public places.  but guys, i was so tired.  we had already seen so much and walked so much and i had no diet dr pepper!! when it was over, i was so groggy, so they took us up to the roof, the living roof.  which was really cool and had an amazing view!

 me with glasses??!?!?! my contacts were really bothering me because i had soaked them in the wrong solution so my eyes were on fire so glasses it was. do you like my new haircut! cut off 3 inches and it's amazing. i can breathe now.

my cousin's daughter was obsessed with penguins, so we ran over to the penguin show and learned a lot.  and i got to sit on a bench, so i was really happy.

 then to the rainforest it was!! it was so beautiful and so hot.  they have these amazing butterflies that i guess die after two weeks and then they buy another bulk of them from costa rica (hey, that's where my parents are right now! lucky ducks!) and fly new ones in.  made me sad butterflies die so quickly! but they were so beautiful!

see that gorgeous blue butterfly?? 

then we took an elevator down to the aquarium.  below where the white alligator was.  it was so beautiful.  this museum really is amazing.

bad picture, sorry, but this octopus was giving us a show! allllll his (her??) tentacles were just creepily on the glass and it really freaked me out.  i had never been so up close to an octopus before.

did you know when jellyfish spread their little creepiness out and swim up and down, they aren't swimming, they are gathering food?  museum didn't teach me that, already knew it. #winning #peoplewhosaywinningareannoying

i showed my nieces and nephews these pictures when i got home and they were so enthralled.

i feel like this turtle should be an advertisement for a dental company with a big reading called "get your teeth cleaned or you'll end up like this guy." or "don't do meth or you'll end up like this guy.  that's more accurate.

then we left the museum to get a bite because i was starving. and we got to see more of golden gate park!

we ate at park chow which was really good and had a cute atmosphere.  then we said our goodbyes to the cousin who we had been staying with as we went with my other cousin to see my aunt and other other cousin.  (my mom's cousins all live in san fran, okay? so i guess they technically aren't my "cousins" but what does that make them, cousin once removed? second cousin? i don't know) we drove to oakland and had a delicious chinese dinner with the my aunt and another cousin and spent the night in oakland.  when taran woke me up to go to the airport i almost started crying.  i was sooooooo exhausted.  i didn't remember the last time i had been that exhausted.  the bed was so comfy and i really wanted to just stay in it.  the only thing that got me out of bed was that i knew i was going home and i could spend the rest of the day in my bed.

rude awakening when i lost my job the next morning.

whew! we did it! san fran recapped! who is sick of hearing about me blab about it now? raise of hands? everyone? i thought so.

**please continue to pray for hubs and i as i have no job and his work has cut his hours and the company is kind of folding.  we are in a tight spot.  but i went on a job interview today, so hey! the Lord will ALWAYS comfort and provide.  always.  i have Him so why would i worry.

Bella And The City

and now an amazon gift card giveaway!! best of luck!
$70 Amazon Gift Card Giveaway 
a Rafflecopter giveaway

xoxo because i like giving you hugs and kisses

February 22, 2015

valentine's goodie swap

Bella And The City
a few weeks ago, i signed up for a valentine's goodie swap with bella and the city and musings of a wanderer to get assigned to a blogger to give a valentine's gift swap!  i was so excited when i was partnered up with christina from adventure is out there blog.  i love sharing love for valentine's day and was especially excited to share it with a blogger!!

christina got me all of the things that i love!! and get this, we got each other the same cards!! hahaa!! tomorrow get ready for me to share the last of my san fran trip!!

hope you are all having a great weekend! 

February 20, 2015

day two in san fransisco

The Grits Blog - Little Friday Linkup
We Took the Road Less Traveled
alright alright alright!! i am so happy to share day two in san fransisco with you!! {catch up on day one here}  i can't believe how much we packed into our trip!! 

saturday was valentine's day, and i told taran that i really wanted a necklace with his initial on it and boy oh boy did he deliver!

some guys might not like this, but taran does.  i tend to be very blunt about what i want him to do.  if i want flowers, i tell him.  i have a pinterest board that tells him the things i would like him to buy me.  so i told him i wanted flowers and he coordinated with my cousin to get me them.  my cousin's wife picked them up and on v day morning there they were!! so beautiful! it broke my heart that i couldn't take them home!!  

then we went into the city and got sooooo lost.  we wanted to go to pier 39 and rode the cal train from my cousin's house to san fran.  when we got off, we just started asking people how to get to pier 39. there was this really awesome and nice guy who just said "follow me, get off when i get off, i'll tell you where to go" so we followed him and we ended up in the shopping district and needed cash to get on the f train to get us there so we went to nordstrom rack to get cash.  we bought a heart shaped frosted rice krispy treat but they didn't do cash back!! so we just walked around and i was salivating at all the stores that were around and we finally went to a pizza place where i got my beloved dr pepper and we finally got change.

we finally made it to pier 39 and it was so amazing and beautiful!! we really lucked out with the weather.  it was so clear and sunny and not foggy at all.  it was magical.  i fell in love with pier 39.

we ate burgers at this cute little restaurant that overlooked the water.

my other cousin that i hung out with and she suggested that we take a boat ride on blue and gold fleet to take us under the golden gate bridge and around alcatraz.  we really really wanted to go to alcatraz but we didn't purchase tickets way ahead of time so they were sold out.  we were really bummed but loved the boat tour.

it had a narrator the entire time and taran was the only one who listened.  i kind of listened but was distracted by how beautiful everything was.  but now i know all about the 1906 and 1980whatever earthquakes and the fires.  #knowledge. the boat ride was so much fun and one of our favorite parts of the trip.

alcatraz!! i was so jealous of the people who were smart enough to get tickets way in advance and got to walk around and see it!! 

i did

they had this cute little heart that was on the pier just for valentine's day.  if you hash tagged #pier39 they gave a dollar to the city or something. then we just walked around.  but we did get ben and jerry's ice cream.  we wanted to go to the  exploritorium and the aquarium but we didn't have time!! we didn't have time to do half the stuff we wanted to do!!

we stopped in this irish store with gold coins.  i would be so rich if i stole them and they were real.

they had this cool ride that was expensive and we didn't have time to do.  also, i have always wanted to go to madam tussaud's but it is so expensive!! so i have never been.  there was just so much we wanted to do that we didn't have time for!!

we walked around the back of the pier to see all the boats.  imagine if that was one of mine? that would be so cool!

then we went over to our romantic valentine's dinner.   i had searched low and high for a place we could afford where we could see the water.  the restaurant was perfect, it was bistro boudin and i guess they are very serious about their bread.  it is all sourdough and they even had a museum.  they made bread out of these fun creatures and the museum was kind of cool.

 they had lessons on how to make your own dough and how to make it into a cool shape.  that would have been fun to do.

 you can barely see the water in this picture because it is dark but it swear it was there!

after dinner, we had to figure out how to get home.  but there was cool stuff to see across the street. such as this place called "the san fransisco dungeon" and i wanted to know what it was.  just a note, i get scared soooooooooo easily.  so when i was walking towards it, this guy jumps out behind the bushes and scared me.  i got so mad i was yelling and saying "why would you do that i hate you" and i swatted him and graced him with a few colorful words and ran away.  and the dungeon i guess is a boat ride with live people who scare you.

 then we went into this chocolate shop.  and it was amazing and beautiful and i want to live in that shop.  i got a lollipop and i lost it.  i was so distraught! it was a good lollipop! it was one of those big swirly ones, i love those!

we tried to get home and we asked so many people for directions of how to get to the cal train and how to get to the f train and everyone we asked was like "get on the 47 bus."  so we wandered for like a half hour and finally found the bus.  we had to get to the cal train by 915 and it was 830.  the bus said it would come in a half hour.  we weren't going to make it.  and then we found out the buses weren't even running because of the big pillow fight downtown. {awesome. my friend from day one said we should do it and gave me the info but i wanted a romantic v day}  my phone died even though i had gotten a portable charger because i knew that would happen but i didn't charge it! #winning.  when i knew my phone was dying, i saw a cab drive by and i memorized the number because taran doesn't have a smart phone where we could look up a cab company.  
after nearly an hour i was so frustrated i threw in the towel and called the cab.  when we got in i said "you have to get us to the cal  train by 915.  we have a half an hour." and he said "i will try i will do my best." and i said "what's your name?" and he said "luckhin" and i said "luckhin you can do it i believe in you you HAVE to get us to the train station by 915 we cannot miss that train." so he just weaved in and out of traffic and it was awesome and i got to see some pretty apartments and pretty parts of the city.  he got us there in time and i was so tired and so happy we made that train.  if we hadn't we would have had to wait an hour.  and the train ride to my cousin's house was a 45 minute train ride.  but we did it!!
and that was saturday! 

happy weekend!! please continue to pray for me as both my husband and i look for jobs and struggle through this very very difficult time.