Lot 48: these are my goals

January 9, 2015

these are my goals

i know that i have practically bean a dead horse by repeatedly saying i don't like new year's resolutions because i believe that you should always be working to improve yourself.  i've talked about my one word for the new year is fearless.  FEARLESS.  i used to be this awesome girl who was brave and who took risks and moved to london and LA by herself. i want that girl back.  this is how i will become that girl again. 

| ONE | in london, i took my dad's advice and carried a mantra with me that said "your relationships with people are more important than what you do, where you go, sleep, whatever."  that mantra forced me to go with the flow of things.  in rome, there were things that i really wanted to do that the group didn't want to do.  did i throw i hissy fit?  no.  i went with the flow.  i stayed calm. 

| TWO | force yourself to enjoy the moment.  i remember so clearly how homesick i was the first day in rome.  i was sooooo far from home.  i wanted to go home.  i cried a lot that first day.  and the first day, i was so angry with myself.  i thought "you are in ROME.  you have wanted to go here since you were little.  {my dad lived in rome for two years and talked about it nonstop growing up.  yes, he went to rome on his lds mission} you are finally here.  don't blow it.  who knows when you will be back.  DON'T RUIN THIS.  enjoy it."  it was so hard, and i remember walking home from dinner our first night and we were walking along the river to our hostel, and i walked in front of everyone, and sobbed the whole way home.  it took me a while to shake off my homesickness, to make the most of the trip, but i did.  that night, i didn't sleep hardly at all because i was so excited to go to the vatican, and when morning came, i just wanted to stay in bed and sleep.  then i remembered "you are in ROME. are you kidding me.  get out of bed."  so i went to the vatican, had a smile on my face, enjoyed every minute of it and drank a ton of diet coke to stay awake.  i want to be that person again.

| THREE | be a more giving sister.  my sisters always need help.   they have so many children and their lives are always crazy, and i think they are usually on the edge of a breakdown.  my goal is to babysit each time they ask, and when they do, to clean their house after i put the kids to bed, do their dishes.  and especially give them a night out, just the two of them.  a date night, a night to go to the temple, whatever.  i love my babies and am happy to babysit them.  i am just acting like an old lady and get mad when they don't get home to relive me of my babysitting duties until 830 because that is my bedtime!! suck it up lauren! give service to them!! they need it! 

| FOUR |  visit my grandparents more. my grandparents are not doing well.  their health is declining rapidly and they are often sick or going through something.  my poor grandparents whom i love dearly.  my whole life, they have lived in michigan and now they live here, and have for the past year and i have wished for them to be close my whole life, and now they are and i don't go see them nearly enough.  be a better granddaughter! call them!  visit them! take them to dinner! give service.  that is what i want to do.  i want to soak up all the time i can with them.  i'm scared the end is near for them, and i want to hold onto them for as long as i can.  

| FIVE |  don't be a flake.  i am definitely struggling with this right now.  i hardly ever make plans because i never want to leave my apartment.  i just want to lie in my bed and read or watch tv.  so lame, right?  i need to go out, i need to say "yes" to plans and meetings with friends.  i need to go out more.  i need to commit when i make plans and not cancel at the last minute because i don't feel like going.  i need to not be a flake.  nobody likes a flake. 

and there we go! i want to improve myself on these areas!! it feels good to write down these goals! 

4 comments:

  1. These are great! I also am a flake sometimes especially if I make the plans like a week or so in advance. That's why I avoid committing really early to something unless it's a big event like a wedding/birthday party. I may feel like going to the mall on Monday when my friend asks, but on Saturday when it's actually time to go -- how do I know if I'll even be in the mood to go anymore?

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  2. I think these all sound really great. Getting out and seeing people is sure to lift your mood and get you out of your head. I know I need to do that more often.

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  3. great things to work on! you're a kind person for wanting to do all that for your sisters!

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