Lot 48: growing up

January 28, 2015

growing up

this is the first and only fashion post i will ever do. blame taylor, she talked me into it. i loved her boots too much so i bought them and she told me to do a fashion post. well, here you go, the most awkward fashion post photos ever because i know nothing.

^telling him to flip the camera to vertical^

{boots everything else i have no idea.  nordstrom for the skirt and blazer necklace for Christmas from taran hat from someplace cute shirt from a place that sells shirts, probably.}

growing up is something that we all stress about. it’s scary, it’s exciting, it’s liberating, it’s hard, it’s fun, it’s a million other emotions. i think the point of life when people start to really freak out about growing up is when college graduation looms near. or even starting college. those were all milestones for me, at least. 

the past few weeks have been really, really, really, really hard. last week was one of the hardest things i have ever done in my life because of....... me being an idiot and accidentally going off my meds and my nurse practitioner being a jerk and things going wrong and stuff. as hard as it was, i think i grew a lot from the experience.

like i have said before, strength isn’t something that is a choice, it is forced upon you. i was forced to go to work, i didn’t have a choice. being adult, you have to go to work. the only thing that go me through was thinking of my future children and my husband. i bring in a significant income. we would lose everything if i lost my job. taran and i, we have a plan. we have a plan of how long it will take to get out of debt, how long we will wait to have babies, etc. i want those babies more than anything. in order to bring them into a world where they are safe and we don’t have to financially struggle, i have to work. thinking of them is the only thing that got me through. i haven’t met my children, but i already love them more than anything. i would do anything for them. that was put to the test last week, and i passed. 

the hell i went through last week forced me to grow. and not only that, it did something i really did not expect: it made me feel as if i was growing into my own skin. the past two weeks have been crazy and a lot has happened. i can’t believe all that has happened in my life has been packed into only two weeks. but it made me realize a lot of really valuable things about myself. breakthrough things about myself. and now, 3 months away from being 25, i feel like i am finally growing into my own skin. the past two weeks have forced me to look at who i am, what i am capable of and how i should react to things. 

i haven’t felt like an “adult” until now. when you’re growing up, you are trying to figure out who you are, what you should be, what your potential is. and now, i feel like i have finally figured it out. i know who i am now. i know what i want. i feel like me. my true self. the self that has been underneath all along and now can be seen as the past two weeks threw several bombs at the shell i was hiding in until the true, real lauren emerged and came out to see the sun. 

welcome real lauren, it’s nice to meet you. glad to see you in the sun.

ps. check back tomorrow because i have a HUGE announcement.

and on a lighter note....... 

Becoming Adorrable

What is your favorite memory with your blogger?  my favorite memory of you was when i proposed to you and how you were crying and saying yes yes yes yes yes yes yes over and over again and then you ignored me for the next two hours and talked to your family and friends.
What is her best quality?  thoughtfulness.  you are constantly thinking of others and how to help others.  if you are constantly thinking of other people, you would do it no matter how much it effects you.
What is something the two of you enjoy doing together?  cuddling and watching amazing television shows.  that is all i ever want to do with her is just have her in my arms. 
What is your favorite post of hers that she has ever written? our love story. i love that it is up at the top of the blog for everyone to see. 
How much time do you think your blogger puts into blogging each week? (And what are you normally up to when she's blogging?!)  5 hours? and when she is blogging i researching medical devices. {5 hours?! more like 10+!}


  1. I'm sorry the last two weeks have been hard for you, but I'm so glad you grew from the experience and were able to see that growth for yourself. You are so strong. You inspire me in ways you'll never know.

    And your interview with Taran is really sweet.

  2. I'm glad that these past two weeks have made you stronger! I also just wrote a post about post graduation life and it is definitely scary being in the real world and having a lot more pressure. Just keep on going on my love! :)

  3. If I was to ask Tim these questions he would say he hasn't a clue.
    You do look nice though.............just saying

  4. Haha it's funny to me when they way underestimate how long we spend blogging. I've spent quite a lot of time making sure Tim knows how hard I'm working on it, so when he comes home he doesn't say "Why didn't you fold the laundry? You had time!"


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