Lot 48: i am so blessed + this is a rant about the privacy of my uterus

November 19, 2014

i am so blessed + this is a rant about the privacy of my uterus

hey it's wednesday!! the perfect day for me to rant about this particular topic because it is a confession!! is it?  don't worry, i will share real confessions too.

Confession Wednesday Button
what is it with people asking me when we are going to have kids?  it is rude and none of their business.  yesterday on facebook, i posted the following "When people ask me where my honeymoon baby is now that i have been married for 9 months, instead of punching them in the throat like i want because it is none of their business, i just tell them my sister Rachelle had one for me. and my baby girl niece june is darn cute."  i got some realy good responses from friends like "tell them you're barren." or say "we don't know the recipe, could you show us?" or "the honeymoon isn't over!!" or "ask them where their tact is."  YES TO ALL OF THESE. also, my sister once told me to respond with "oh, since we are asking inappropriate questions, how much money do you make?"  i have actually used that one a couple of times.

i am amazed and shocked at how many people ask me this very personal question.  when i was engaged, a coworker asked me when my taran and i were planning on procreating.  i was shocked and completely taken aback as this was the first time somebody had asked me this question.  i said "i don't know...." because i was so offended and annoyed i didn't know what else to say.

what if we are trying to have a baby and i can't get pregnant?  what if i had just experienced a miscarriage?  how insensitive would it be for someone to ask me when i was having kids when i was grieving the loss of my baby?  or the frustration that i couldn't have one?  what if we want one RIGHT NOW but we can't afford it, or my health isn't up to par yet so we can't?  honestly, how insensitive are these people who ask me where the babies are?? 

IT IS NONE OF YOUR &%*$ BUSINESS.   none.  unless you are one of my closest friends, you can ask.  there are probably 10 people outside of my family who i wouldn't want to slap if they asked.  so rude.  so insensitive.  so untactful.  

another confession: my husband cooks all our meals and i feel oh so guilty about it.  guys, i hate cooking.  and i never have the energy to.  i hate it so much.  he also grocery shops for us.  the man is a saint.  but i clean and do our laundry and the dishes!! my sweet man tells me "i figure you will be doing all the cooking for the majority of our lives, so it's the least i can do."  it's true.  i won't be working when we have kids, i don't want to so i will be making the dinner while he makes the money.  and i am totally fine with that arrangement.  and also, the biggest reason why he does the cooking and grocery shopping is because until recently, i have been working more than him.  or i have been sick, like when i went on disability leave. 

i am really happy.  it is amazing and completely blows my mind how much my life has changed in the past 3 months.  3 months ago, life was so hard.  i was so sick.  life felt hopeless and bleak.  the future looked bleak.  i was in such a bad place.  i was on disability leave, and then i lost my job.  and now, my health has greatly improved and i have a new job that i love even more than the last one.  i am just so happy.  i love my life, i love our life.  me and my sweet husband.  i love coming home to him every night to our cozy apartment.  even though our apartment is in the murder capita of our city and is in the bad part of town, i absolutely love our apartment.  it is nice and cozy.  it really is a nice apartment.  and it is so cozy and warm and our bed is soooo cozy.  i love walking out of the cold and into my warm home, with my husband waiting for me and dinner on the stove when i walk in.  it's warm and wonderful and i just think how lucky i am that i have a place to call home, a place to be warm, a place to live with my love.  a family who is so supportive and love me unconditionally.  a family who lives so close.  i am so unbelievably blessed.  the Lord is so good.  He has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams.  i am so, so, so blessed it makes me want to cry with gratitude.  the Lord has healed me, doctors have healed a lot of what was broken with me, my husband and family has healed me and been there for me in the past 3 months of hell.  i am so grateful.  things have changed for the better so drastically. and i am so thankful.  

 i guess this turned into a bit of a humpday thankfulness, huh?? 


  1. Where you eavesdropping in on me earlier this week to write the first part of this post? Because my husband and I literally were having this same conversation. I am right there with you, it's rude. As someone who has been trying for a year to conceive and miscarried in July, it's soul crushing every time someone asks. It's no one's business! When/if a couple is ready to have kids, they'll start trying. If you see little one's there's your answer! If you don't, don't ask, you never know what's going on!

  2. I could have written this post, too! People are so rude. I love your comebacks and how you rounded up with gratitude! Great post!

  3. Oh my goodness, THANK YOU!! I will never understand why everyone feels like they have a right to know about your family plans! Um, so NOT your business! Like you said, what if the person you are asking has tried and desperately wants children but can't have them?? Or recently had a loss?? And even if not, again it's nunya bidness! I always feel like saying something really sarcastic like, "Oh no, we hate kids." just to throw them off, but I usually just mumble something about it not being the right time for us.

    I'm the same about cooking, my hubby does a lot of the cooking and he is very good at it! I hate it so I'm so thankful he is willing to do it!

  4. hahaha "we don't know the recipe, could you show us?" i love that so much. Oh, and the money one, I'm gonna use that.
    Its hard when people I love ask that question because I can't be rude to them cause they get super offended, even though they are the ones asking the personal questions. I know I used to ask when I was younger before I realised how many people struggle and suffer miscarriages.. I just try and remind myself they mean well and change the conversation.

  5. I so feel you on this and have this conversation way too often with other people. It is no one's business but mine and my husband's! Don't tell me I am not getting any younger, or that I am selfish, or anything else. I tell people...I do what I want! People are so rude and intrusive these days!!!!

  6. I'm glad you are feeling so happy and thankful (: I'm confused why people even ask about the children thing...when I'm married I'll probably turn into a psycho when people ask that. I don't know why anyone besides a close friend would think that is appropriate?

  7. I'm so glad you're doing so much better, my friend!

    Yeah, that question is just absolutely rude. I may wonder sometimes what's going on with people, but I would never think to ask them for all the reasons you listed.

  8. OMG... YES to the first part of this post. We have been married for a little over a year and I turn 30 next week so everyone seems to be on the "you are getting old and you need to start having kids now" train. It is driving me nuts!! I actually had someone ask me the other day if I was pregnant because my hair looked like it was getting longer... seriously, my hair getting longer now automatically means I am pregnant?! We also had people ask us about it when we were at a wedding and I wasn't drinking much so people were all gossiping that I was pregnant. Nevermind the fact that I WAS drinking...but I also was just getting over being sick and on medication so I didn't think drinking a bunch was the best idea so I stayed pretty sober. Since when does not wanting to drink a lot also equate to being pregnant?! I also agree that although we may not be trying now, people don't know what is going on in our lives and whether or not we have been trying, had miscarriages, are unable to conceive or whatever the case may be and you never want to make someone feel awful or awkward because you asked them when they are having babies. Sorry for the rant... your post def just stirred up a lot of emotions! On the happy side, glad to hear that you are doing better and that life is looking up for you :-)

  9. Oh my goodness, I agree with you 100 percent! People ask us this all the time. Thankfully, it has slowed down a lot now that my hubby is in medical school, but it still makes me crazy when people I don't know well ask. It's such a personal question!

  10. Yessss thank you. I've been married 2.5 years now, and I have coworkers ask me on the regular. Arg. Truth is, I'm ready to have a baby. But my husband isn't. And once we decide to start trying, I've been told we may or may not be able to. So, sensitive topic? You betcha! Thanks for addressing.

    Whew. Glad I got that off my chest. :)


  11. Words can't even express how much I love this post. So I'm going to leave it at well said Lauren, well said.


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