Lot 48: marriage myths

October 29, 2014

marriage myths


today i am collaborating with the grits blog to share marriage myths!!  we are both newlyweds so we thought it would be fun to share common marriage myths that are floating out there!! i absolutely LOVE ashley's blog and am so excited that i have been hanging out on her sidebar all month and that we get to do this collaboration together!!                                        


1. that you will know how to fight fairly.  i remember our first fight as a married couple.  we still had my twin bed in the apartment  because we hadn't  sold it yet.  in the middle of the fight, i was  so angry with him that i left our bedroom and  went to the bed that was in the living room.  i then thought to myself, "i'm married.  we are married.  i should probably try to be mature or whatever and not run away when we have a fight."  i had no idea how to be a good wife or be married!!

2. that you will both have the same ideas about money.  i am spender, taran is a saver.  he doesn't like going out to eat, movies, spending anything more than $5.  he is very frugal.  i knew that when we were dating which caused a lot of fights even when we were dating.  in the first few months of our marriage, we fought about money alllll the time.  we have both gotten a lot better.  i have gotten a lot better at spending and better  at saving, and taran has gotten better at getting annoyed everytime we go  out, which now, is very rare.

3. that you will lose your single friends.  i still hang out with my single friends all the time!! i actually only have like, 3 married friends, and they live an hour away, so i rarely hang out with them.  the majority of my friends are single and it really doesn't matter. it's not like we only hang out with married people.  we have only gone on a double  date once in our 9 months of marriage.

4. that it will be easy to split up time between your families.  since my sister moved here a few months after i got married, i have really been monopolizing taran from his family.  i feel bad about it. it's just that for the first time in 12 years, all my sisters and i live in the same city.  and it will only be like this for a year so i am trying to really milk it.  we have a ton of family gatherings, and i think we have been to taran's parent's house like 3 times.  i feel bad. he goes and sees them by himself like when i was working and he got off early, he would go hang out with them until i got home.  but the fact is, his family doesn't have as many gatherings as my family, so, i guess maybe that is another reason.


(5) The laundry. Oh it won't be that much more - I mean what's one more persons clothes?!

Oh the laundry. I used to do four small loads a week -when it was just me. I had my pinks, reds, and yellow, my dark colors, whites, and towels. Now I have that plus all of Chris's stuff plus double the towels. It's a lot and it piles up quickly. Chris though, when he is in the mood - he does his own laundry and leaves mine and the other house laundry to me. To say that's been a big source of contention would be an understatement - but we have been working on it. He now at least asks if there is something of mine or a load of towels he can do. #progress - it's all you can ask for.

(6) The groceries. It's not that much more expensive to grocery shop for an extra person.

So not only is it more expensive to grocery shop for two but it's more time consuming. I have to ask Chris before every trip, because he always forgets to write it down, if there is something in particular that he needs or wants. It's a pain but at least it prevents multiple trips.

(7) The schedules. Finding time to still have dates will be easy, you live together! How hard can it be?!

Chris works two jobs - voluntarily - and then is a avid hunter and fisherman. So when he's home, typically he's preparing for a hunting trip or fishing trip. Then I am a part of the JWC and I blog - a lot. It's been hard making everything line up for at least one date night a week.

Making that time for each other is hard and it seemed much easier when we didn't live together and was not yet married. So this is a work in progress for us.

(8) The little things. They won't bother you - i.e. leaving cabinets open for example.

I will never understand why Chris can't put his clothes in the basket that's a foot away from where he is taking them off. He will never understand why I can't put my shoes in my closet instead of leaving them all over the house. Both of these things drive each other crazy.

(9) The chores. Splitting those up will be a breeze.

The chores, in the beginning, was the biggest source of all our fights. I felt like I did everything, Chris felt like he did stuff but that I didn't notice. Lately, his job is finishing our house and mine is keeping up the one we are in. For now it works - but when we move into our new house..I do wonder how that will shake out in regards to chores since he has a free pass right now while fixing up the new house.

We will cross that bridge when we get there.

(10) The activities. They take up more time that you know!

Like I mentioned in number 7 - sometimes you have to give an activity or two in order to make time for your partner - otherwise you just end up seeing each other before bed and first thing in the morning, which is so not romantic.

Any wedding myths you experienced or you have heard of?

and now a giveaway for tony burch flats!!

4 comments:

  1. Such an interesting topic to write about (not that I know because I'm not married haha). I think it's silly that people assume they are "loosing" their friends when they get married. There are no rules that say I can't hang out with someone who is married and someone who is married can't hangout with someone who is single...it's totally ridiculous!

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  2. I found your post on The Grits Blog and decided to come on over. I love this post. I have only been married since July, but I have lived with my husband for the past three years. We are in our own apartment now with just us and I can see all of these myths in our marriage. Family seems to be the most difficult for us. My parents are divorced and we see my father only once a year right now. Cody's parents live 10 hours away like my father does, but in opposite directions and we are happy to see them once a year as well. That is the perks of being a college student and only working part time right now and my husband seems to work his butt off with hardly any time off. So you get the point..time doesn't allow us to leave nor does money. I am the spender in the family and I know what you mean...it is hard to save when you love to spend. Well I will stop blabbing now. Thank you for posting these myths. Married couples need to know them!

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  3. oh these are all so funny. i definitely learnt how to fight fairly, or rather avoid fights but it took a few months into our marriage! and the money thing is a regular 'discussion' with us - im a spender and he is a saver, but i have cut back so much, but every $1 I spend, he feels like I'm spending $100. It's hard, I don't want to fight about money because it's like the number one reason people split up, but jeepers dude let me by a bottle of wine on the way home - we can share it ;)

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  4. My husband is a saver too! For our anniversary I wanted a wedding band and he wanted me to make him a book of coupons haha. It was hard to understand that he'd rather have more money in savings than more things. However, I think because I moved two hours away from my friends that even though I tried really hard to keep up the friendships it wasn't reciprocated much and didn't really happen :/ I'm glad you have been able to keep those up!! :)

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