Lot 48: the creepy professor: weird dreams series

August 27, 2014

the creepy professor: weird dreams series

i have share my weird dreams before, and all of you have loved hearing about them before, so i thought i would share the craaaazy dream i had on friday night.  because it was one of the weirdest.  

even though i graduated college two years ago, i still have dreams where i am back in school because i forgot to take a crucial class or forgot a test or something and they make me go back.  i have these dreams allll the time.  this particular dream started out like that.  but then it got reaaaaaly weird.

 for some reason, my husband was working in san fransisco and i was attending the university of utah, where i went to school, thousands of miles away from him.  in the first class i went to, i saw my friend i met while i was in LA, who had long since graduated college, and has her masters degree and got none of her degrees at the U of U.  she is pregnant and i asked her if her husband moved with her from south carolina to be with her while she attended school.  she said that she flies there every friday and flies back on sunday.  i said that sounded terrible but she said she didn't mind.  i was flying into utah from san fran on monday mornings and driving to san fran on thursday evenings.  

the professor of my class was married and a total perv.  he wrote love letters to each of his female students, including me.  it really creeped me out.  i was talking to my other classmates and telling them how great life is once you graduate college, and then one classmate said "how would you know, you haven't graduated, or else you wouldn't be here."  oh yeah....... good point.  so then i got real confused because i thought i had  graduated but why was i in school??

after the first week of class was over, i thought "this is stupid.  i am dropping out.  i don't want to be away from taran. i'm going to san fran to be with him."  i told my professor and he said "noooooo baby.... i'll leave my wife for you just give me a chance doooooon't goooooo." and i'm like waaaaaa??? 

also, i was living with my parents (who btw live 300 miles from U of U campus) and we lived in a house with no walls just a roof in the middle of an intersection and my room had no privacy and all the cars and commotion from the street kept waking me up.  

then for some reason, my friends and i decided that it was time to go halloween shopping.  and all the girls in school wanted to go halloween shopping and get the sluttiest outfit for the professor.  at the store, the professor was singing a song over the speakers that went "get your costume one size smaller so your boobs come out biggerrrr..." and everyone was running around trying to get slutty costumes to impress the creepy professor.  

so i got solid cabury eggs and a really frumpy funny costume that would be funny.

and then, true to lauren dreaming fashion, people started shooting each other.  and of course, my aim was perfect.  and i took everyone down perfectly.  and then when i woke up, i thought "you know, my dream shooting is probably improving my aim in real life.  i wonder what real life assassins dream about." and then i realized they probably don't sleep well because they probably just have nightmares about who they actually kill, because that stuff is rough to handle.

but for real, i really think my shooting in my dreams is improving my shooting in real life.  win.

the end. 

4 comments:

  1. I missed that this was a dream at first and I got to the part about living in a house with no walls, just a roof and I was like, "Who is this crazy?!?!" And then I realized it was a dream and felt better about it ;)

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  2. Wow... What a crazy dream! I have had some strange ones but this one definitely takes the cake! I definitely often dream about failing a class because I have missed a final or didn't turn in a paper or something & then I wake up in a panic convinced it was real. Maybe it is a sign I need to go back to school?

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  3. All I can say is "WTF?!" haha. That is crazy!! And gross with the professor.

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  4. This is HILARIOUS!

    Some of the funniest dreams happen when I'm dealing with crazy stuff in my real life.

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