Lot 48: the cool kids table

August 4, 2014

the cool kids table

i have wanted write this post for a long time but have been too chicken.  but this has really been bothering me and has been weighing heavily on my mind, so i am going to talk about it.this is not written with the intention of hurting anyone or bashing anyone, i am just wondering if anyone else feels this way.  i could use a million mean girls gifs in this post, but i think they are way over done. 

do you ever feel like in the blogging world it gets a little..... clicky??  i have met with several bloggers and some have been so sweet and i have connected with, but some have been exclusive and pretty much ignored me throughout dinner.  some, i have sent countless emails to and they haven't responded.  some have excluded me from get togethers.  and it is all very hurtful.  

when i was nominated for a liebster award, only one of the bloggers i nominated honored the award, one responded and didn't seem into it, and the others never even responded.  seriously?? i am complimenting you and reaching out and you ignore it?? its just rude.  

i have emailed people about linkups and "hey would you be doing this series with me" and they don't even respond.  i can't even tell you how many times this has happened.  i read all these bloggers saying that they have made so many friends blogging and some of them fly across the country to meet these new friends and i want to find that so badly.  i want to make a blog friend who actually cares and answers my emails and that i click with.  but i just can't find it.  it's like that part in 30 rock when tracey jordan is trying to connect with his "roots" and decides to make a friend with an average person and he goes out into the street to make a friend and everybody ignores him so he stands in the middle of time square or something and just says "does anybody want to be my friend?"  that's exactly how i feel.

so i have just kind of accepted and decided that i'm just not going to be one of those bloggers who makes really great blogging friends like i want.  i feel like we are in high school again and that i am trying to make the popular kids like me but they just dont'.  i am envious of these bloggers who say "i was gchatting with so and so and texting with so and so and i went on a blate with what's her head and now we are besties."  I WANT THAT. i want to make friends.  but it's not happening.

does anyone else feel this way??

34 comments:

  1. I think blogging is pretty much like high school too. I love all the blogs I follow (or I wouldn't follow them), but then I feel like I'm mostly following all the "popular" blogs. All the blogs I read seem to know one another personally. I haven't met any other bloggers or exchanged numbers with other bloggers or any of that stuff. It's like I just don't fit into their club.

    I found that blogs with less followers are more engaged with their audience than the bloggers with thousands of followers. I'm not saying popular bloggers never respond or care -- because sometimes they do respond to me. But I know they also receive A LOT of comments and emails, so they're probably super busy. And I think they've established their blog-best-friends already -- so it's hard for new people to come in and join their group.

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    1. I am so glad that I am not the only one who feels this way. and yes, it is like joining a new school in the middle of the year, they have their friends and don't want to make any more. i fit into no club and i wish i did. maybe i should just stop caring.

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  2. ME! I totally get this - I always said I'm really doing my blog for "me" but I won't lie, it hurts when I put a ton of effort into a post and I'll feel super proud of it and no one comments. I have been to blog get togethers too and some of them have gone well and others I've been the girl at the end of the table being ignored. I think what you're doing here is awesome and I've been enjoying reading along and I like that you try to engage your readers with thoughts and questions. So, keep on keeping on. You're not alone!

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    1. I have the goal to really grow this blog and be a "big blogger" like venus trapped in mars and helene and such. those girls are friends and fly across the country to see each other and i'm just tracey jordan saying "does anybody want to be my friend??"

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  3. I get it. I have had this issue since I have started. I try to reach out to bloggers with no reply. Though I have came across a few that I do talk with here & there. It would be nice to find my own blogger friend like all these others. So I def feel ya! I always answer emails, comments, tweets, everything.

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    1. I just don't understand why some bloggers don't respond!! I know they are busy, but if they are so busy, why not just email and say "i am swamped but will give this thought and respond soon." that is the nice thing to do! thanks for stopping by!!

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  4. After Ashley tweeted about this I had to read it and I completely agree with you. For me blogging is all about building a community of support and encouragement. I found that I connected with bloggers the most when I was paired with them for Cara Boxes, Bigs and Littles... or when I sponsored them. It seems a little sad that you have to pay people to start a conversation but it seems like that's how stuff works in the big ol' bloggy-blog world. Keep your head up - finding one good blog friend will be worth exponentially more than hundreds of people you never really connect with.

    Brittany @ Everyday Thoughts

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    1. That's how I feel! Some people have been really nice and helpful even after my sponsorship ends, which is amazing. i am so glad that you stopped by!

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  5. I definitely feel this way. I've been lucky enough to meet a couple of other bloggers, but I don't feel like I really have a bloggy BFF and I really want one. And I want to be part of the in crowd.

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    1. I really want a bloggy BFF too!! It makes me sad when I read on blogs about how people are all besties and texting each other and I don't have a blog bestie. maybe i am just being annoying by complaining about this, i just wanted to see if anyone else felt this way.

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  6. Blogging is definitely like high school in a lot of ways. A lot, a lot. When I was still starting out in blogging I felt exactly the way you do right now. Eventually I started blogging because I wanted to blog and I started commenting on the people I read regularly and I started tweeting with them. That's how I've built relationships and friendships. Now, do I think I've found my one blog bestie? Maybe, maybe not, but I figure that one day that will come. Oh, and I'll be the first to admit that I've had emails get lost in the shuffle many times! My email inbox is a disaster, no matter how "on top of it" I try to be, so I've been trying to remember that many people probably have that same problem! In other news, I'm glad someone tweeted out this post! Now I've found a new blogger to read!

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    1. It really, really is like high school!! I am so glad that you liked the post and I am so happy about the response to this post. I am glad I am not the only one who has felt this way. I know that inboxes can be messy, but after I email someone TWICE and they still don't respond?? um.... that's just not nice.

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  7. I honestly don't care too much about having a bloggy bff and flying all over for vacations with them. It's just not my thing. I'm so close with my hometown friends that my online life isn't a priority. That said, I try my best to answer all emails and comments (I admit I've sucked this summer) and I always remember if someone visits/comments more than once and I go check out their blog and do the same. So hopefully you've never thought I've ignored you :) I have never ignored request emails about working together. But I do ignore e-mails about joining giveaways that are clearly mass emails because I don't have the time or energy to deal with anything that isn't personalized to me. They didn't bother, why should I?
    As far as the liebster though, I gotta be honest here - it's a little like chain mail. I just say thank you and brush it off. Sorry :(

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    1. No no, it hasn't been you at all. I can see that some people don't care about the liebster, but I was super excited when I got it so I thought other people would be excited too...... and I have never thought that you ignored me! It is when I email people about linkups or meeting in person and they ignore me. So rude. So so so rude.

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  8. I definitely get this! Esp since I'm relatively new to the blogging community. I always reply to emails and tweets to try and "get myself out there".

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    1. That is the way to do it and i always respond to every comment!! I don't expect people who get near a hundred comments to respond, i understand that is a lot to keep up with. but when i email them personally, i think it is the polite thing to do to respond at least!!

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  9. I feel this way a lot. I will get so excited when I hit a higher number of page views and then the next week it drops so much that no one is reading my blog. I want to be a "big blogger" but then I get into the times where I have no clue what to write, that no one really cares about it (other than my close IRL friends) and that I am wasting my time. Kind of going through that right now in ways. I definitely feel this way and I try to comment, email and participate as much as I can. I feel like I am missing some big piece out of the puzzle. If you figure it out, please share. But I am happy that I found your blog today and can't wait t read more!

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    1. That is so sweet of you to say that you are happy to read my blog and can't wait to read more, that made my day! I really appreciate your comment. it is so easy to get stuck and to not know what direction to take your blog. i hope you will figure it out soon, and check out my blogging pinterest board, it has a ton of blog post ideas, if that helps!

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  10. I'm right there with you! I feel this way too but there is a blog community here is Arizona called Bloguettes where they have meet ups and workshops for local bloggers and businesses. I love it and have made some strong connections. Wish they had that in every city. I am also going through a really had time at work right now where I feel like I am in High School and being left out. I hate it and it bugs me but I love having this blogging world to escape my world world

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    1. i wish we had that here! but maybe we do and i just don't know about it?? i need to keep my focus and keep my mission statement in mind: to inspire and entertain. if my blog can make someone's day better, then that is all i want!

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  12. Just keep doing you and you'll be fine, the friendships will grow over time. :) People that never respond to emails or comments are just rude and not worth your time. :)

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    1. that's true, i mean.... i have only been doing this since march, really, so i shouldn't get that upset. i just want people to be nice and polite. that's what we all want, right??

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  13. I agree with Jenn! It's scary and hard to put yourself out there, and I would say that a lot of us don't get email responses some of the time, but the people who are worth your time are the ones who do respond! I went to a local meet up and didn''t have a great experience, but I am definitely going to try again.

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    1. it is so scary!!! it makes you feel really vulnerable to put yourself out there on the internet, it is so scary!! good for you for keep trying!! that is resilient and i admire that!

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  14. I feel ya on a lot of this... There have been gals I've THOUGHT I 'clicked' with right away, only to have it fizzle out when they become OMGBFFs with someone else in the blog world. I'm not usually doing the "popular" thing on my blog, so its' been harder to connect and make real friendships as much as I'd like to.

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  15. Aww girl I know how this goes. It's been especially hard opening shop at a new space in blogland and trying to rekindle some of those friendships that I did have, which is definitely disheartening. Just keep being awesome and reaching out and the right people will connect with you :)

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  16. I really don't get the blogging BFFs thing. I've only ever exchanged numbers with one blogger (Lisette from Northern Belle Diaries) and that was because she was transferring me from Blogger to WordPress and we texted to keep me updated on the progress as she was doing it. Since then, we've become good friends. Without the business side of things though, I don't think I ever would have gotten her number. Maybe it's just me but I think it's kind of awkward to ask someone for their number or to transition from blog friends to real life friends.

    I also feel like reading this made me a little sad. There came a point in blogging for me when email was completely and totally overwhelming. I struggle to make the time to respond to every comment and every email. Some days (honestly, most days) it isn't possible. I have a full-time job. I feel incredible guilt about this and sometimes I worry that the lack of responsiveness makes me seem like I think I'm one of the cool kids. It's hard.

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  17. I have to say, I agree on the not responding to nominations for awards... I too nominated several (I think 11?) and never heard a word from the majority. I guess bloggers who have been around for a while must have gotten tons of awards so they lose their importance to them. I understand not wanting to take part, but I do think at least a thank you would be appropriate since a nomination means someone found you and your blog so amazing they just had to nominate you. I'll never understand it either, honey.... :) But hey, I think of you as one of my blog friends! :)

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  18. Blogging can seem like this at times...but hold on...you will find your friends and you will just click. You are doing everything right. I am a social person though; the more the merrier and the more in my "tribe" the better I feel. Blogging definitely requires support. I can't tell you the difference having 3 or 4 close blogging friends have made the difference for me. Reaching out as you are definitely helps. Shoot me an email with your linkup ideas...I'd love to be a part of something. Besides....I think we would be great friends. Your twitter mentions donuts? I think we will get along just fine. :)

    As for emails and nominations....I botched this one up by making my blog email different from my personal email. All of my comments go to my personal email as do my sponsorship emails. I am guilty of not checking the official blog email for awhile. Stupid me. But nothing malicious or ungrateful there. I just need to switch it all over (and I'm not tech davy so I have no clue how to do that).

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  19. Oh goodness, I thought this was just me. I mean, the good thing is that there aren't too many snobby bloggers but I do feel left out a lot at times. Like, many bloggers don't follow bloggers who have less than a few thousand followers unless they know them in real life. I mean, I know they don't have to follow everyone, but I don't know, I just still feel left out from a lot of blogger things. I have started to hold back from reaching out to some bloggers because it seems obvious they don't really want to carry on a conversation. Ah, well, blogging is still super fun and I'm sure we will make more friendships along the way. :)

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  20. I've definitely seen this too. Hang in there! For the record, I really love your blog and you can sit with me any time! :)

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  21. Lauren, I know how you feel. I feel like I've made friends but no one that I text constantly or anything like that. But if you think of it it's a world full of girls and girls will always be girls. Don't let it bother you! I'd rather a genuine relationship than a shaky one anyways.

    As far as ignoring you at a dinner table, thats rough. No one should do that. Although I can't help but wonder if they were just shy; I know I'd be really shy at a meet up!

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Hearing from you makes my day!!