Lot 48: lessons learned

June 17, 2014

lessons learned


there is a very tiny town about 50 miles north of where i grew up. every time i drive by this tiny little town, i blow a kiss.

i went to college for my freshman year in that town.  that tiny little town where i learned more life lessons in 10 months that i ever thought possible.  i was so unhappy there.  but i learned so many things. 

i was a home body growing up. the kind of homebody where i couldn't be away from my mom and dad for a night. i couldn't go to sleep overs. i couldn't go on class trips.  i didn't understand teenagers.  i didn't relate to them, even though i was one.  i didn't want to stay up all night at sleepovers playing silly games and getting no sleep. i wanted to sleep. in my own bed. so we (my parents and i) thought it would be a good idea to go to college just a little ways away.  far way enough that i wouldn't be able to go home whenever, but not too far.

i was really into theater in high school and i was DEAD SET on being a performer for ever and ever so i was a theater major that freshman year. and i did not fit in with my classmates.  i soon realized that i didn't know how to make friends.  and that watching tv for seven hours a day does not make one feel good about one's self. and feeling bad about yourself gets old. it gets real old real fast.  so i decided to make changes. 

instead of going into my room to watch tv on my computer, i went to the library and read books for fun (my classes were easy for the most part), i wrote plays, i wrote short stories, i did something else than stay in my room.  i hung out with people i didn't like. i forced myself to get out. out of my room, out of my head. 

i learned how get out of my shell.  i went to parties and dances that started at 10 o'clock at night.  i went to weekly sunday game night. i made friends.  i learned how to make friends.  i forced myself to make friends. 

my parents and i had decided before i left for college that this tiny college town would be just a one year thing. and by the spring, i decided it was. 

 i made a decision to move up here, to salt lake city, to go to the university of utah and start my life over. build my life from the ground up again. i vomited on the first day of school at the U because i was so nervous. building your life from the ground up is hard. but i knew i had the tools to do it, because of that first year. so i vomited, swallowed my fear and went to class. 

 i have been here in this city, 300 miles from home for 5 years.  its why i got married up here, not in my hometown.  this is my home now. 

i have built my life from the ground up multiple times, and if i hadn't gone to that tiny little tiny town and to that tiny little college, i would never have learned those valuable tools that have made me who i am today.  

i would do that year over again.  i would make that choice every single time.  that year was hard, i'm not gonna lie. but i am so thankful for that year.  so, so thankful for that year.  

and that is why i blow a kiss every time i pass that town.

what life lessons have you learned from a hard time that you would do over again?

4 comments:

  1. That is really awesome that you learned so much from that one year and that you were really able to come out of your shell and become the person that you are today! I had a really tough time when I studied abroad... I did NOT want to do it, I was so scared and my parents bribed me with a new car if I went. I struggled in the beginning because I was so far away from everything I knew, but after about a month of trying new things, meeting new people, etc. I started to have the best time ever and then I never wanted to come home. I think living in Spain definitely made me who I am today... I am a much more confident person and I now know that I really can do anything I set my mind to because if I could do it in another country, well then I can absolutely do it here. I do also think that I left a small part of my heart in Spain because even now, 8 years later I still miss being there so much....

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  2. My entire first year in Utah was miserable. I had a terrible job that I hated, wasn't going to school, didn't really know anyone. The life I had envisioned just didn't materialize. It was awful.

    But then I quit that terrible job, went back to school and things got so much better. I only lived in Utah for six years (I kept working after I got my degree), but it's got a special place in my heart.

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  3. I think sometimes we have to learn lessons by doing hard things. it sounds like it was good for you to break out of that shell! I love that you blow it a kiss :)

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  4. "its why i got married up here, not in my hometown. this is my home now." --- those words made my heart go all pitter-pattery!

    I move quite a bit for my husbands job and we've yet to find a place that feels like "home". I'm so glad that you've found that place :) xo

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Hearing from you makes my day!!