Lot 48: let's talk about your wedding day

May 19, 2014

let's talk about your wedding day

there are some things i wish somebody had told me when i got married. things people should have told me about my wedding day. so i am going to share them with you. i feel like nobody talks about these things and i don't want anybody to feel blindsided like i did. so here we go.  also, i like talking about my wedding. obvi.

back in september, i read an article in cosmo that i really tried hard to remember when i was engaged. basically, the article says that your wedding day won't be the best day of your life.  or rather, why you shouldn't expect it to be.  like the article says, your wedding isn't the end of your road and isn't the accomplishments of all accomplishments.  don't put so much pressure on your wedding day to be the best day of your life.  relax. at the end, you'll still be married.

i cannot even tell you how many times i thought about that article on my wedding day.  

there were several things that went wrong my on my wedding day. things that made me very angry.  we were scheduled to take pictures before the ceremony on the temple grounds so we wouldn't have everybody waiting for us after the ceremony.  i got ready at my sister's house as her house was close to where i got my hair done.  we were rushing out the door to get to the temple to have enough time to get good pictures that we forgot a few crucial things: my veil, taran's phone, and taran's recommend (a recommend is a piece of paper that you must absolutely must  have in order to enter the LDS temple.  you cannot get into a temple without it.  as in, we could not get married without it.) i was in my parent's car driving to the temple with them and taran was in his car. my brother in law called my dad and told him that taran's phone and recommend were on his kitchen table. awesome.  luckily, my brother in law came to the wedding early to give us his recommend so we could actually get married.  we didn't realize we didn't have my veil until we got to the temple. that is why in several of these pictures, i am not wearing a veil. 

 this made me very angry. how could i have forgotten my veil?! i won't have my veil in these pictures i will look at for the rest of my life!! how could this happen? i had made lists! i had prepared! we called my brother in law to ask him to bring my veil as well.  


then i focused my attention on pictures. i looked at taran and realized he hadn't shaved. on the day of our wedding, my fiance forgot to shave his face.  i was livid.  i was so livid that i wouldn't even let him touch me. i stormed ahead of him as we walked to a spot our photographer thought a picture would be good, and my mom said "lauren, you can't be mad at your husband on your wedding day." and i said snarkily, "he's not my husband."  the ceremony was in one hour. i didn't have proper lipgloss. we didn't know where it was. it was cold.  it was lightly snowing. we were trying and failing to keep my dress clean, but it was getting dirt everywhere on it.  i started to cry. i started freaking out. 

my photographer made everyone step away from me, grabbed my shoulders and told me to breathe. she told me at the end of the day, i would be married. it won't look that bad in pictures that he hadn't shaved.  you want to look happy and in love in these pictures, you can't be mad at him right now. she said all the right things.  i took several deep breaths.  i calmed down.  my photographer was hell on fire and was the WORST PERSON TO WORK WITH and i wouldn't recommend her to my worst enemy, but that was the one of two moments that i was glad i had picked her. the other moment was when i got my wedding pictures back (FINALLY AFTER THREE MONTHS) because my wedding pictures really are beautiful.  


but then we got into the temple. the big event.  the actual marriage. and i started freaking out.  i had knots in my stomach. i felt so anxious and nervous, more than i had ever felt in my life.  i started hyperventilating.  i started to cry a little. i prayed for comfort. it didn't come. i didn't understand what was going on.  i had prayed dozens of times to ask the Lord if i should marry taran, and everytime, the answer was a earth shattering YES.  so why did i feel so nervous?? was this normal? i looked at my mom and asked "did my sisters feel this way? what's wrong with me?" she said my sisters didn't feel this way before their weddings and it was just nerves. she said "honey, if you have prayed about it so many times and  gotten a yes each time, you just have to move forward with faith."  i was petrified.  i was so petrified that i seriously considered not going through with it.  i got to see taran for a few minutes before the ceremony.  i told him what i was feeling. he wasn't feeling too nervous, he was just excited.  i was freaking out. what is wrong with me?!??! i thought about not going through with the wedding and what that would feel like. if i didn't get married, i would not be married to taran.  i didn't want that. not at all. i wanted to be with him forever. it was time to leap.


we got in the elevator to go up to the sealing room (the sealing room is where you get married. called a sealing room because you are sealed for time and all eternity, not just married for your time on earth but also for your time in the afterlife. death does not part a couple married in the temple).  i held taran's hand tighter.  we met the sealer (the one who officiates the wedding) outside the elevator.  he asked if we were ready. i gave the answer that i was terrified to say, but the answer i knew was right. i gulped and said "yes." 

 we walked into the sealing room and i saw all my family.  my cousins, my uncles, my aunts, my parents, my sisters, my friends.  i felt a little more calm.  taran sobbed through the entire ceremony.  it was adorable (i mean, manly, cough, cough).  i felt so happy.

once the sealing was over, i felt something like hot lava wash through my body from head to toe. i have never, ever in my life, felt the Lord's presence so strongly.  i knew what i had done was right. 

we went outside to be greeted by everyone. i felt giddy, happy, ecstatic, sooooooo happy and freaking GIDDY!!!!!!!  i couldn't stop calling taran "my husband." all my nerves were gone. i was just so dang happy.  happier than i had ever felt in my life.

^^he also forgot (or didn't know?) to bring an outfit to leave in.  i don't know about you, but in my mind, you don't leave your wedding in your wedding dress.  you leave in a cute dress. and the guy can wear jeans. but whatever.^^

the day was exhausting. emotional. tiring. EXHAUSTING. as my reception started, i hid in my dressing room with my MOH as she shoved dr pepper down my throat. i just looked at her and said "how am i supposed to get through the next few hours? i want to go to sleep!" 

was it the best day of my life? yes. i think it was. i have been married for three months, and i still feel just as giddy and happy to be married to that man than i did on our wedding day.  marrying him was the best decision i ever made.  

love you, baby. forever.

ps. i just have to publicly from a rooftop say THANK YOU to my mom for thinking of everything and putting so much time and effort into planning my wedding day, the sweet lady from the laundry department at the temple who brought her spot remover and scrubbed my wedding dress for 20 minutes to get the dirt out,  and my bridesmaids for catering to my every need, for staying up late dance partying with me the night before the big day, and running around the night before getting every last minute thing i didn't think of before. YOU ARE ALL ROCK STARS. 

and if you made it to the end of this monster of a post, you are a rock star too.

6 comments:

  1. Love it! This will absolutely be me.

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    1. It is so hard to stay calm on your wedding day!! As you can see!!! But once we were married, I really didn't care about any of the things that were going wrong.

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  2. First of all- your dress is stunning! And second of all- I want to hear more about this photographer from hell! xx

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  3. I read that Cosmo article too! and remember getting mad at Nick on our wedding day too, I feel like it happens to everyone!
    I'm excited to see my wedding pictures, but it's been SIX MONTHS, so they better be amazing!

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  4. First of all, gorgeous photos! My wedding was horrible. I had cold feet for about four months before it so all my wedding planning was just "whatever." I didn't love my dress, decorations, food, etc. I was just grumpily checking things off a list. I felt the exact same way you described the morning of my wedding. And when it was all over, it was just a day and a huge relief. All of my anxiety lifted. I've been married for 7 1/2 years now and I'm so glad I didn't let my crazy emotions get the best of me and that my husband/then fiance stood by all of my insanity! It's all about the marriage! Great post!!

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  5. We had literally such similar days. Mine had some father drama thrown in there. But I feel the same way as you, after we were officially married, I was SO happy. I had such a blast planing our wedding but the couple days before were awful. I as well want to thank my mom so so much because without here I have no idea how any of our wedding would have been possible. Moms really are the best. I'm thankful to read this Lauren cause I had no idea that wedding days could be bad haha.

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