Lot 48: its coming along & (ir)rational fears

November 5, 2013

its coming along & (ir)rational fears

well, i have been engaged for two weeks and it is all coming along! I have booked my photographer and have scheduled my engagement photo shoot (excited/stressed about that). I am going home this weekend and my mom and I are going to vegas to get me a cute outfit for the photo shoot because if there was ever a time for me to look good.....
but man is this stressful! wow! so much to do and so many decisions to make!
and now to announce my colors

cherry red, turquoise, white and gold!
i like it. its been pretty hard to match, though. especially the turquoise.
i am surprised at how emotional i am lately.  i keep crying of crazy fears. like the fear that taran is going to drop dead, or that he is going to die when we are in our sixties and ill have all these years without him, or that he is going to die before we get married, etc, etc.  i get pretty hysterical and freak out about that probably once a week. pretty weird.  
i have also found myself crying over how happy i am, how perfect the proposal was, how much i love him, and other mushy stuff.

the proposal was the most special and amazing moment of my life, i wish i could go back and live it again. i want to bottle up that moment and keep it tucked away and perfectly intact forever.  taran and i were talking about the proposal last night and i just started crying again. (so much crying lately! but we all know I'm a crier.  it really and truly was the most amazing moment of my life.  it was like everything that had ever happened in my life and every bad thing i had gone through led me to that moment. it as if my life finally made complete sense and I saw my 23 years of life come in a complete circle. that circle will open up again and more experiences will be let in as i get older, but right now, i feel like the old and current events of my life have met to form a perfect, flawless circle.  that feeling hasn't gone away. i have never been more sure of any decision i have ever made, more sure of myself and more sure of taran and i as a couple.  we have had a pretty rough go of it with quite a few large bumps along the way, but we are exactly where we are supposed to be.  so many miracles have happened to get us here.  God has played such a large part in our courtship.  We have seen up close exactly what the Lord can do if we have faith.  I am the luckiest girl in the world and I cannot wait to spend forever with the most amazing man I have ever known.


and now for some wedding things

a bridesmaids dress i am thinking of



my top two favorite reception places



and finally, where we will marry.

xoxo, lauren

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