Lot 48: June 2012

June 21, 2012


I've been thinking a lot about bellybuttons lately since my new niece and nephew were born.  I've never really thought about them or noticed them until I was changing Avery and Oliver's diapers and saw that the umbilical chord hadn't completely fallen off yet.  It's strange to think about, how you once were in your mommy's belly and you got your nutrients directly from your mom.  But that hasn't changed, has it?  I don't know about you, but I still get everything I need from my mom.  This is especially true when you are growing up.  She feeds you, she clothes you, she gives you hugs and strokes your hair when you are upset.  In a way, she is still giving you the same "nutrients" you received from her when you were in the womb. (Is this a gross topic?)  We all grow up and move out and start to care for ourselves eventually, but that doesn't mean we stop needing our moms.  I, at least, will always need my mom.
Theoretically, why can't you get comfort and food and clothes from anyone?  Why couldn't anyone fill that role of nurturing you?  Why does it matter if it is your mom or not?  Why can't it just be someone who loves you?  Because of bellybuttons.  Even before each of us were born, we were literally connected to our mothers.  Everyone says there is such a strong connection and an indescribable love that a mother has for her child, and yes this true, but what about children for their mothers?  You weren't the only ones who was biologically connected to us.  We don't just need anyone to love and nurture us, we need our mothers.
I know how hard it is for new moms to wean their babies off nursing.  One of my friends called me crying the last day she breast fed her son, saying that he wasn't going to need her anymore and he wasn't going to love her anymore.  Not true.  No matter how old you are, you always need your mom.  Your child will always be your baby and will always need you, I promise.  Don't you need yours?
With almost every new mom I know, they all had their moms come and stay with them for a few weeks after they had their baby.  Most of them had her with them in the delivery room.  Why?  Because no matter how old you get, you still need your mom.  And it all started with a bellybutton.

I probably should have written this on Mother's Day.  Oh well.

June 17, 2012

My Dad

This is my dad.

He is the coolest dad in all the world.  I love him so much.  He is my best friend, my protector, the Priesthood holder of our house, my teacher, and the man who gave me wavy hair, long legs, and my personality.  I'm a lot like my dad.  

Here he is with my nephew Eli Paul, named after my dad.  It's perfect that Eli is named after him because Eli and my dad have identical personalities.  

One day we realized that we were wearing the exact same sunglasses.  Hahaha.  My dad is so cool.  He has a rock band and plays lead guitar, he just got his pilot's license and has a plane, and he has a boat as well.  I love going to the lake with him, it's so much fun.  I love that he plays the guitar too because if I hear a song that I really like and I want to perform it, he learns it with me and then we record it.  We are a perfect team.  

I am so blessed and grateful that my dad trusts me and allows me to make my own decisions.  He treats me like an adult (I guess I am) and always supports me.  When I moved to Los Angeles, he drove there with me and helped me move in.  He had to be sure where I was living was safe.  We also went to the two offices where I was going to work so he could see them.  He had to check those out too, to make sure I was working in a safe neighborhood.  I talk to my dad about everything.  I call to tell him about work, about dates, about my friends and school, everything.  We are very close.

He has had this shirt for a while, and last time he wore it, I told him that sentence wasn't true.  He raised four daughters and got 3 sons in law and four grandkids.  And my sisters are just getting started having kids.  False statement, dad. 

I have no brothers, so my dad would take me and my sisters to do "boy things."  He taught me how to check my tire pressure, properly throw and catch a baseball, and how to shoot a gun (we do that a lot.  It's my favorite.)  He also taught me how to operate and take care of our boat, and the things I need to regularly check on my car to make sure it's safe.  

Things my dad taught me:
1. The value of hard work.  Things are not handed to you, you have to work for what you get.
2. If you are driving 60 mph, you are going 88 feet per second.
2. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the most important thing in the whole world.
3.  Be kind to everyone.  Give service.  
4.  Don't ever be in an unhealthy relationship with a guy who you are trying to fix.
5.  Life is something good.
6.  Just be yourself because you are great exactly the way you are.

I am not only grateful for my dad, but for all good dads out there! I am grateful for my grandpa (both of them) and especially my brothers in law who are such amazing fathers to my nephews and niece.  I am so blessed to have George Paul Doxey Jr. as my father.  He is the best guy I know!  I love you dad!  

And let us not forget the father we all share, our Heavenly Father.  He is my rock, my savior, my friend, my strength, my comfort.  Happy Fathers Day!

June 14, 2012


Money, money, money.  Isn't that the thing that everybody worries most about?  Probably other than their children, but still, this little piece of green paper is what worries us as people the most.  What if there was no money?  How would the world work?  Would there be any work at all?  How would create the basic needs of our lives?
If the world had no such thing as money, I think everyone would have to fend for themselves.  We would each have to make our own crops and shoot our own cows for food.  We would have to make our own clothes and entertain ourselves.  Isn't that crazy to think about?  There would be no fun.  No Disneyland, no movies, no schools, no anything.  What would criminals do?  If there was no money, why would anyone steal?  I guess there would still be murder and kidnapping and all those other crimes, but anything related to money would be no more.  Weird to think about.
I've been thinking a lot about this this past week, and I have come to a conclusion.  We need money in the world.  We can't function without it.  How would we get anyone to do anything if there wasn't money?  We would all starve and we would all be bored and technology would not progress.
Do you agree?  Or do you think that everyone would just do what they loved for the fun of it?  Would science geeks spend their time inventing things even though they don't get paid for it?  But if you don't need to pay for anything ever, why work?  Why not just lay by a pool all day drinking lemonade and reading books?  Because there would be no books to read, no lemonade to sip, and no pools to lay by if there was no money in this world.
But at the same time, I wish that could be the case.  What an awesome world it would be if everyone just worked because they loved it.  But then again, if there was no money, would there be poverty?  Would there be starvation?  How would we function as a society without money?  I don't think we would know how.
On a semi-unrelated note, what if college was free, like public school is?  Would more people go to college?  Would college become less valuable?  Because everybody says, you go to college and spend thousands of dollars because you get a big pay off later.  Theoretically, if you go to college, you will make more than someone who doesn't go.  Not always true, but that tends to be the reason most people go to college.  Or they really want to do a certain job and they can't do it if they don't have a college degree.  I think college would be less valuable and less "prestigious" if it was free.  Most colleges are hard to get into, and even harder to pay for, and that is all part of the "pay off" you are supposed to get when you're done.  A high paying job is your reward.  And here's another question: would college be mandatory if it was free?  Should college be mandatory?  I would love to hear your thoughts.

p.s. I know there are some places in the world where college is free, or practically free, and possibly mandatory, and I wonder how that affects their societies.  But this isn't a research paper, so I'm not going to spend time looking into that.

June 10, 2012


I don’t feel young, I feel old.  I don’t feel 22, I feel much older.  I’ve done a lot in my 22 years of life.  I have changed my career (performer to tvwriter/graphic designer) graduated (almost) college, dated what I think is a good number of guys, lived in another country, lived in another state, worked in what apparently is one of the "toughest businesses," gone to two different colleges, and other stuff. 
Growing up, I didn’t want to be young.  I wanted to be taken  seriously in my "professional career" as a  performer and as a person and I was really anxious to reach 21.  I felt like people would finally respect me and take me seriously if I was 21.  I don't know why I thought that was the golden age.  But I found this wasn’t the case.  Once I started making a life for myself and once I made a career for myself as a performer, I felt respected and that people were taking me “seriously.”  (Why was it so important to me to be taken seriously?)  I particularly felt this way when I was a teenager.  I didn't want to be in my teens, I wanted to be in my 20s.  I was very much in a hurry to grow up. 
As I graduated high school and when I reached about 19, I felt more comfortable with my peers and that I  could relate to them.  But there are so many stories and movies where a villain is searching for immortality and youth and I always thought "seriously?  Who would want that?  That would be awful.  I want to get older.  I don't want to live forever."  But I can sort of see where these people are coming from.  It's nice to be young I guess.  I have my whole life ahead of me, my body is healthy and works well, and I have hope my dreams will come true.  Is that why so many people in stories want to be young forever?  So they can always have that mindset and a functioning body?  
There was no magic thing that happened once I turned 21.  People did not suddenly change the way they saw me, and they did not suddenly respect me.  They already did.  The things I wanted from people I thought would only happen as I  aged, but that wasn't true.  People respect you by you earning their respect.  They value your opinions by you working hard and learning as much as you can.  Age doesn't mean anything.  All it does it measure how long you have been on this Earth.
I think about people who have "mid life crises."  From what I understand (and my knowledge of this doesn't go beyond what movies have taught me) this happens when someone realizes they are getting older and they haven't accomplished what they wanted to accomplish.  Cool.  So get off your butt and change your life.  You're not dead yet, there is still time.  I often think about if I was cured with a life threatening disease and I had three weeks to live, what would I do?  Or what if I almost died?  How would I act differently after I reexamined my life?  The answer is..... I wouldn't change anything.  I am working towards my goals, I am living the way I want to live and how I know is the right way to live.  And I like that thought.  
But now that I am in my early 20s, I feel okay with being this age and am not in any hurry to grow up anymore.  Being this age is fun!  And I am able to live the life I want!  Life is beautiful.

How do you feel about getting older?