Lot 48

June 15, 2018

some people, man

you will not believe what happened today.

i'm in my hometown for my best friend's wedding and today was a chill day.  we had the bachelorette party last night and the wedding is tomorrow and nothing going on today.  taran and i went to my parents country club, the pool i grew up in.  i have been going to that pool for literally as long as i can remember.  

i don't know what it is about pools but i find them so romantic.  maybe its the lack of clothing, the wet hair, i don't know, but i always end up kissing taran a lot whenever we go to a pool.  

we were about to leave when i wanted to get in one last time.  it was a friday afternoon so it was just us and one other family of a mom and dad and two little boys at the pool.  taran and i were kissing when this woman, probably 65+, walked in.  i barely noticed her when she entered and went back to kissing taran.  then i heard a voice.

"excuse me, that is completely inappropriate to be kissing and necking like that, there are children here."

at first i couldn't believe what i just heard.  was she really talking to us?  i looked at her in disbelief and said "we're married." 

she said "i don't care if you are married and have 500 kids, there are children over there.  you can't be kissing and necking like that!" 

taran never gets involved in confrontation with strangers but i could tell i wasn't the only one who was pissed when he responded "we're not necking!" because we really weren't and we weren't making out.  i was kissing my husband.  i'm allowed to do that in public.

then she said something i never, ever thought i would hear a stranger say to my husband.

"i bet you have an erection."

WHAT?!? are you freaking kidding me?! did she really just say that?! 

taran said "wow." and i said "it is none of your business if my husband has an erection, ma'am!" words i never thought i would ever say to anybody in my life.

she said "it is my business if he has an erection when there are kids right there!" 

oh.  my.  &*(*^! 

she said "i'm going to go get the lifeguard and see if i'm wrong."

i said "don't bother. we were about to leave anyway."

we started to get out when the family she felt she had to protect from our devilish ways started to defend us.  the dad said to her "we kiss in front of our kids all the time.  we don't care." that wasn't good enough for her.

we were getting our stuff when taran apologized to the family if we offended them and the dad said "seriously, i didn't even notice."

the lifeguard came over, a girl.  the woman was standing a few feet away from us so the lifeguard whispered "i am so sorry about this." i said "its fine we were leaving anyway." then the lifeguard said loudly "okay thank you!" so the crazy woman would hear and think we had a stern talking to.

we left very angry and in complete disbelief that something so bizarre happened.  who thinks they have the right to say to someone "i bet you have an erection?"  additionally, she was so loud scolding us, the kids heard her say "erection" and might have asked their parents what that word meant.  if her goal was to shield those innocent children from sinful people like us, the royally screwed up.  she taught them a new word.  

i guess its this woman's right to walk into her country club pool and not see what is in her opinion, probably an x rated scene.  its also my right to kiss my husband in public.  but its less of a right and more of a privilege.  i could have not kissed taran so much i guess.  

i'm in such disbelief and anger towards this situation and can't believe this woman thought it was her right to say such disrespectful things to us.  to her, i'm sure we were being disrespectful as well.

just some people.  honestly.

June 14, 2018

i graduated

its been almost a week since i graduated from my UCLA professional program, writing for television.

i know its a super blurry picture, but i was walking fast and bleh whatever its fine.  look how happy i look! i don't think i have ever been more proud of myself.  

this program was hard.  sometimes it was brutal.  and it was really, really fast.  usually when you create a show it should take you at least 4 months to really dive into the characters and map everything out and write the script. 

we did it in 10 weeks.  

i was always under the gun, there was always something new that i had to write each week.  something was always due.  it was so stressful.  i've never struggled with so much self doubt in my life.  that little voice in your head that tells you you're a fraud, you have no talent, you're not funny.  there was also a lot of staring at walls, thinking.  i would be just sitting there, staring at nothing, and taran would say something to me and i'd always say "taran! i'm writing! i almost  had ___figured out!" on orientation day of my program, one of the professors jokingly said that staring at the wall and thinking counts as writing and to get those around you to understand that.  and by the end taran sure did! 

this was my lecture class professor, neil landau.  he has written several books on tv and the way its changed in the last few years and is a BRILLIANT writer.  he taught me so much that made me such a better writer.  i was so glad he hugged me when he gave me my diploma.  i love him and i wasn't sure he would remember me but when we hugged he said "congratulations, you did great work." and that made that little voice in my head that whispers shouts doubt to shut up.  

the best part of the ceremony was the guest speaker.  it was WHITNEY FREAKING CUMMINGS.  when they introduced her i freaked out i was so excited.  taran and my dad had no idea who she was.  

her speech was perfect.  it was all about failure and rejection and that you will get rejected and you will fail but that is all okay and part of your growth as a writer/actor/producer/director/human.  she talked about all her failures and that even when you think you're succeeding you're not (referring to executive producing the revamp of rosanne.  😬) whitney said that we only know her greatest hits, what we see on tv and what we see on her resume.  we don't see all the times she failed and so she shared all those experiences with us and it was like "hey! everybody fails! its going to be okay!" it was exactly what we all needed to hear.

i could not have done this program without taran. he was my sounding board and whenever i was stuck, he would get me unstuck.  as a left brain person and an engineer, he thinks he isn't creative but this year has shown me how talented he is at everything.  

so i gave him a diploma too! because he earned it darnit!  all those nights i was at school and he was alone, missing me.  all those times i couldn't do something fun with him because i had to write.  he sacrificed so much.  

and my dad came out for my graduation!  that meant the WORLD to me.  my dad is a hard guy to impress, and as i showed him the campus and as he listened to the speakers, he kept saying "i'm very impressed."  and that also meant the world to me.  

^^last walk on campus^^

this program completely changed my life.  before the program, i had no idea what i was doing as a writer.  i felt like i was shooting in the dark.  i needed guidance, i needed a teacher to walk me through story, character, the industry standards for what a script should look like grammatically.  its like i was a fetus writer and now i'm like, a toddler.  maybe 2 years old. haha. i can't believe how much i learned and how much i grew. 

and these people! we were all in the same class the entire year.  we spent 8 months together writing with each other, critiquing each other's work, supporting each other, and growing as writers.  they made me a better writer.  they made me think in ways i hadn't before and ways that are necessary as a writer.  they opened my eyes, they taught me when they didn't even realize they were.  two of my people are missing in this picture, but man i love these peeps. they are stuck with me for LIFE. 

i did it.  i freaking did it.  before we moved to LA, i already knew i wanted to do this program and when the time came to apply, i almost didn't.  but i knew i would regret it if i didn't apply and obviously so glad i did! i'm still so surprised i got in, but i don't think its that hard to get in.  doing this program was the third best decision i've ever made, after marrying taran and moving back to LA.  

thank you to all those who supported me this year and those who cheered me on and told me i inspired them and told me they were impressed and proud i was following my crazy dreams.  often i feel self conscious that when people learn that i moved to LA to be a screenwriter that they will automatically think "so you moved to LA to be unemployed.  good luck with that" and think i'm just another one who moved here and is living in my car.  for people to tell me they are impressed i'm following my dreams means so much.  it makes me feel less self conscious.  

dream big, loves.  dream so big it terrifies you.  go after your dreams.  attack them, work at them, and when you think "why me?  who would choose me?" think instead "why NOT me?" it takes guts and tough  skin to follow dreams.  

but holy moly i am so glad i am.

May 29, 2018

on turning 28

today i turn 28. 28! people say i look, at most, 25. last week at work i mentioned to the fedex guy that i had a birthday coming up and he said “let me guess, you will be 22.” when i told him i was turning 28 he nearly fell to the floor. i guess i look really young! which i hate. i dont like looking so young because then i worry people won’t take me seriously. and i want to be taken seriously in this business. but people tell me, “you should be glad you look so young! when you’re 40 people will think you are 30!” and that will be great.

i am often frustrated that it took me so long to move back to LA and follow my dreams. it took me 6 years to move back! but i know if i had moved back earlier i would have failed. i wasn't ready for this until i did move back at age 26. this town is brutal, this business is near impossible and it can easily break anyone. i do believe everything happens for a reason and i know i wasn't meant to move back until it organically happened in its own way.

this birthday i look at all i have accomplished in life but also all i have to accomplish ahead. as my birthday inched closer, i started to freak out because i haven’t accomplished what i thought i would have at this age. i thought by 28 i would be an established writer and be on my second show as a staff writer or at least a writers assistant. i thought i would have pitched a show i created by now. but alas, none of those things have happened and i worry i am too old to start in this industry. but hey, since i look so young that will do me lots of favors!  27 was a great year, one of the best of my life, arguably THE best year of my life. i am excited for what this year will bring.

i graduate from my UCLA writing for television program in 9 days. i have learned SO MUCH and i am so grateful for this program. i owe it everything i am as a writer. this program has made me a writer. the program has prepared me for the world of writing and staffing, and pitching and creating as best anyone can be prepared. i know 28 will be a great year career wise because this program has prepared me to be a success.

i don't like getting older, i think few people do.  i was crying yesterday because i don't want to turn 28.  now i'm in my late 20s and i feel old. its scary to have started in this industry at age 26 when most start during college. i feel so behind.  at least i can trick people into thinking i'm younger.

i've had the best birthday so far! on saturday i had some friends over for a birthday lunch. it was so much fun and i was so happy to celebrate with all my girlfriends! i love hosting and love any excuse to throw a dinner party.

after we ate we played cards against humanity which is always a crowd pleaser and one of my favorite games.  its so funny and always has everyone rolling on the floor laughing.

my dear friend abby! i am so grateful for so many amazing women i am lucky enough to call my friends. 

that night, we went to the hollywood bowl for the beauty and the beast concert! it was so much fun! i had never been to the hollywood bowl before and it was a great experience.  a bunch of famous people came out during the musical numbers while the animated movie played and sang the numbers.  zooey deschanel was belle, taye diggs was gaston, rebel wilson was le fou, jane krakowski was mrs. potts and kelsey grammar was lumier and anthony evans was the beast. there were also a musical number from the broadway musical that was sung by marissa janet winkour, tony winner for hairspray.  anthony evans of course sang evermore from the live action film and at the end, guess who came out! alan menken!! i couldn't believe it.  he sang a few more songs from the film and it was surreal to see him play.  he has composed every disney movie i love! 

it was just the coolest experience. 

the outer part of the bowl was projected so when it was raining, rain was projected, when they were in the castle, the castle was projected.  it was seriously so cool.  and the live orchestra that played along with the film was fabulous.  while menken was out, he asked whoever in the orchestra that played on the soundtrack of the animated film to stand, and so many stood!!

okay, this made my life. we were waiting in line for our lyft and i was sitting on a bench when i turned around at a familiar voice.  it was melissa peterman. MELISSA PETERMAN guys!! from one of my favorite shows baby daddy and reba!  there she was! in the flesh!  i wanted to go up to her but didn't want to bother her.  but she was waiting for her uber just like everyone else, and as i was wrestling with what to do, i got a notification my lyft was here.  so i had to do it now!  i walked up to her and said "melissa?" she so sweetly said "yes?" i said "i'm your biggest fan." and she was so funny and grabbed my hands and she said "are you ernesto, my uber driver? that would make this so much better!" i was like "that would be awesome! i can't believe we are holding hands right now!!" i asked her if we could take a picture and she was so sweet about it.  i said that my lyft was here and in the line the hollywood bowl staff calls out your name when your ride gets here.  she asked if they had called my name and i said "i don't know, i've been talking to you!" and meant to say 'i'm in a bit of a fog right now, someone could steal my purse from my arm and i wouldn't even notice!" and then she said "let's listen for your name." like we were best friends!! then my phone rang and it was my driver and she said "you've been chosen! be free!!" and we both laughed so hard.  i don't even remember if i said "so good to meet you i love you!" i was in such a daze because i met melissa freaking peterman! i was on cloud nine for the rest of the night and was like BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!

if you aren't familiar with melissa peterman, she is such a comedic icon on multi-cam tv.  my favorite part of baby daddy was her.  she has such incredible comedic timing, the way  she says her lines make them 100x funnier, and whatever she does she makes me laugh.  she is so talented and i respect and admire the heck out of her.  when i told taran "melissa peterman is behind me what should i do?" he was like "who?" but when he saw her he said "oh that's the actress you always laugh so hard at." i do! its true! still can't believe that i met her! she was just waiting in line like a normal person! 

yesterday we went to six flags and if you saw my instagram story you saw how crazy busy it was yesterday.  i think we will go back today because we have membership passes (thanks mom! great birthday present!) 

here is to a new year, hopefully a year of professional success, another year of learning and growing and improving.  i have goals for this year, just like i do every year.  my life never ceases to be boring and i love that. 

happy birthday to me!!

May 23, 2018

birthday wishes

my birthday is coming up! its in 5 days! may 29! the bad thing about when my birthday is is that it always falls on memorial day weekend and i want to party with my friends but everyone is going out of town. but i am excited that i'm having a small lunch with some girlfriends on saturday!
when it comes to presents for my birthday, i am very specific.  to the point where i always know what i'm getting.

but! i wanted to share some things that i couldn't get because it was too expensive, sold out or not in my size. lets work left to right shall we?

i actually did get this! its from nasty gal and i almost returned it because it was too short in the front but i added an extender slip and i'm not giving this dress up!!

how baller is this leather jacket?

can you tell i'm into high/low dresses right now? but this one is too expensive and the front would have been way too short.

this beautiful dress from target i want so badly and it isn't too short but they don't have it in my size! i put a curse on your house, target!

love this super cute but super expensive blush colored dress.

and it wouldn't be me asking for presents without a new ring! heart emoji eyes.

my mom got us season passes to six flags! if you know me, you know how much i love roller coasters so this made my life

then on sat night, taran is taking me to the hollywood bowl for the first time! can you believe we haven't been yet?  we are going to beauty and the beast.  the orchestra will play the music along with the movie!!

we also have some special weekend plans that i'll share on friday

birthday, here i come! hope you had a good wednesday!

May 21, 2018

six flags weekend! + i'm sorry.

i had such a great weekend, how about you?

I need to address the posts and comments I have made the past few days about the royal wedding and Meghan Markle. I don’t know why I have such strong feelings about Meghan, but  I think deep down I irrationally think that Meghan is pushing my most cherished London memories aside. I have been very upfront about being aware that I have been rude, cruel and distasteful regarding my comments towards Meghan Markle. I  should have kept my feelings to myself.  i was just protecting kate and my memories.

but just because meghan is now a princess doesn't mean they are competing.  they are both different people. i root for them both.


the last time i lived in LA, i had a friend who got me hooked on six flags.  we went alll the time.  i love roller coasters.  the scarier the better!

for my birthday, my mom got us membership passes to the park and i can't wait to go all the time over the next 12 months. taran isn't the biggest fan of super scary roller coasters but he was so brave and went on the big ones with me! riding roller coasters is funny, its the fear beforehand that gets you. than afterwards, you're like "LETS DO IT AGAIN!"

this is the coaster "viper." and its one of my favorites. 

but tatsu is definitely the most fun.   you get in those chairs and then it turns you so you're parallel to the floor.

see?  when we were next to ride the ride, it shut down.  that's always annoying.  i'm so glad that we waited and held our place because it didn't take that long to fix.  that ride is crazy! it seriously gives you an idea of what it would be like to fly. its so fun!

we did see deadpool 2 and it was awesome. highly recommend. 

my poor little 6 year old nephew broke his arm!  so sad! but he was so brave and what really impressed me was that when it happened he asked for prayers.  what a spiritual little guy! and on the way to the instacare, he gave himself the cutest little pep talk "i can do this, they'e going to help you." he is the bravest, sweetest little guy.  i feel so bad for him. 

hope you all had a great weekend!