Lot 48

April 26, 2017


you know when you read actress interviews and they say "this business is hard" "you have to have a thick skin" blah blah blah and you read this over and over and over in every freaking interview celebrities do?  

well its true.  this business is really hard.  i think i have learned more about being patient and keeping my eyes on my own paper and not comparing myself to others in the last 3 months than i have in a lifetime.  this business is really, really hard.  just breaking into it is hard, and it will not get any easier i imagine once i am not on the "outside" anymore, whatever that means. 

i work really, really hard.  when i came here 3 years ago, i met with my dearest friend that i have here and his life was insane.  he worked about 12 hours as an assistant for this songwriter and then he would go to this writer-producer's house and write until about 3 am and then go to work at 6.  i wasn't ready to do that.  and i knew that i could move here until i was ready to put forth that kind of effort.  i am.  i so am.  i go to work and i try really hard and i work hard.  

then i get home and i try to spend a few hours writing or reading books on writing or doing my aarson sorking masterclass on screenwriting which is fascinating and i am learning so much AND IT FEELS SO GOOD.  i am drinking it in.  i want to learn as much as i can.  i am so hungry to learn.  starving to learn all i can about screenwriting.  but i don't like using that word for what i want to do.  because when i think of that i think of writing movies.  and i don't really want to write movies.  and could and i probably will at some point, but no, my blood spills for tv writing.  which is why i am so excited that the next masterclass is from the great shonda rhimes on the art of tv writing!! 

have you ever seen mozart in the jungle?  you know how rodrigo says that hayley (hai-lei!) plays "with the blood."  i want to write with the blood.  writing is my blood.  many things are my blood.  God, family, taran, but tv, writing, its my blood.  someone who didn't understand how much this world means to me once said to me "i think you need to take a step back and look how obsessed you are with tv.  its unhealthy.  you're obsessed." i wanted to say to this person "that's kind of the point.  its going to be my career.  i hope i'm obsessed with it."   

i spend roughly 70% of my time thinking about whats funny, how to build a character from scratch, show ideas, mostly just thinking about writing.  i think about it. all. the time.  the problem is though, i am also tired, all the time.  because just my job i work hard.  which is strange, because i am just sitting in front of a computer contributing to making comic books happen.  im not running around.  but oddly, staring at a computer for 8+ hours a day can be draining.  

i surround myself with people who are in this business because its who you know and i need contacts, want contacts and need and want friends.  but that also leads to envy and comparing myself to them.  one friend volunteers at this award show every year.  duh! why don't i do that? that would be great networking! okay, woah.  okay. you can do that. don't hate yourself because you haven't thought of it yet, oh ye little one who has been here for 3 months.  

then there is the identity crisis.  what writer am i? do i write for drama tv?  or comedy?  i always thought i was a comedy writer.  i have been saying that since i knew i wanted to be a writer.  but i'm dark, dudes.  and, AND! i just don't think i'm funny enough to write 3 jokes a page and be so fast and witty and smart all the time.  when i write my scripts and its time for a joke, when i feel the script is calling "INSERT JOKE HERE" i literally type INSERT JOKE HERE and leave it in red and come back later.  and when i do come back later, i spend a lot of time staring at the wall.  or the ceiling.  but thats probably normal.  as my good friend ben schwartz says and NAILS it. (btw ben schwartz is jean ralphio on parks and rec)

word ben.  WORD.  EXACTLY. 

i have an idea for a show that i've had in my head for roughly 9 years.  and i think i finally know what to do with it. i've tried to write it multiple times but it hasn't come out in the way i wanted. i've approached it from a few angles.  but this.  this new approach i have come up with, this new way to do it.  if rodrigo was a writer and read it when i'm done he would say "she writes with the blood." 

and so here in this blog post where it will be in digital print and digital life and then digital heaven forever, here i promise i will always, always, write with blood.  blood is what makes us crazy people go through this tough business and keep fighting and getting knocked down.  because we have the blood.  

so i will write with the blood. 

April 21, 2017

we will do allll the things

how is everybody doing? this week has been ROUGH. im just going through something right now. send prayers my way okay?

onto happier things

i'm sure you have seen on instagram that i got a new gorgeous niece! her name is vienna rose and isn't she beautiful? i can't wait to meet her. my sister lives in northern california and we are found to go meet her once all the visitors and family die down and things aren't so hectic. she looks like a dream and so angelic. i haven't even met her yet and i miss her already!!

we have another baby joining our family soon. my other sister is due with a baby boy at the end of may! so close to the end of may that me and the little guy might actually have the same birthday!! i would love that!! there are a lot of birthdays at the end of may in my family.

the most exciting thing about this weekend is my dad is coming to visit! i'm so excited! no one is my family really knows about LA or has ever really spent much time here. my dad figured he should spend some time with me while my mom was with my sister and vienna. i can't wait! he is flying his plane into van nuys tonight and i can't WAIT! it means so much to me that he is coming. i have a whole list of things i want us to do. it does make me nervous when he flies long distances but he is a very very careful pilot. that picture above is of him with his oldest grandchild, my nephew eli. say prayers that he flies safe! my dad really is the coolest. i can't wait for him to get here. i will take him everywhere and we will do all the touristy things that you should do when you come to LA. it will be awesome. and i have a surprise that i will write about next week! but you will all be jealous! keep an eye out on instagram!

i am really hiting it hard with my writing. i have been doing aaron sorkin's master class everyday but for some reason i get so tired when i get home and usually end up falling asleep. not that it isn't interesting! i just want to learn as much as i can about writing and who is better to learn from aaron sorkin? oh. that would be shonda rhimes. especially if you want to write to tv, like i do. so i got her masterclass as well! i love all this learning i'm doing!

haply friday everyone! have a good one!

Bright on a Budget

April 19, 2017

where do you see yourself in five years?

you get asked this question all the time in job interviews. so you ever know what to say? if it is for a job you really want and for a job that will get you on a career path you want, i bet you have a really great answer. when i was working out of college in utah, i never knew how to answer that question because all i wanted to do was write for tv. i didn't want to be at the company i was interviewing at for more than a year or two. i just wanted to be in LA living my dream as soon as possible so i always made up some crap response that i thought made the interviewer happy.

but what personally? that question might be harder to answer. i really don't have a good answer for where i will be personally in five years. i am sure, i will have at least one kid. i don't know if we will have a house by then. i know we will still live in LA because we are going to live here forever. i don't know where tarans career is going to be.

but i i do have an idea of where my career will be. if i was asked in an interview "where do you see she yourself in 5 years" i would actually be able to answer honestly.

in 5 years i see myself on a writing staff of a show. i wish i could realistically say that i would be farther along than that but i mean, i just got to LA. this city is rough. and really frustrating. i am trying harder than i ever have to be patient.

im really blessed to have the job i have now but i need to get into tv asap. i have several people around me, acquaintances of acquaintances who are writers assistances which is the job that i would kill for. and i get green with envy and i have to take a step back and think "i just got here. 3 months ago! i am doing really well for 3 months ago! really well!"

i try to write and do my aaron sorkin master class for about 3 hours every night when i get home. i'm learning. i'm so hungry to learn. and grow. what i would give to be a writers assistant! to be in a writers room!!

it's all who you know but we all know that so well just saying it is beating a dead horse that's already been bludgeoned. i do my best to push myself and talk to EVERYONE because you never know who is who. just the other day i was in the food cart line for lunch and i heard people talking about how they were in a tv show and one was an editor and so i asked them "what show are you in?" and they said "dancing with the stars" and i said "oh cool! are they hiring PA! (production assistants. good place to start in this biz.) and he said they were fully staffed but i should have given him my info just in case! but i didn't because my dear friend already worked on that show so i already had an in there.

where will i be in 5 years! freaking making writing my slave and i WILL be in a writers room.

where will you be in 5 years?

April 16, 2017

on getting married young

i got married when i was 23.  this might be shocking to some people, not shocking to others.  some might say that i got married too young and at a time when i hadn't "found myself" and i did'n't know who i was and hadn't lived a good single life experience and traveled and had fun in college.  

a lot of people say you have to do that before you get married.  have crazy adventures.  have lots of boyfriends.  get your heart broken a lot.  cross a ton of things off your bucket list before you settle down. 

but i never thought of myself as an average 23 year old.  by the time i got married, i had graduated college, done a study abroad in london, done a internship in LA in the entertainment industry, gotten my heart broken, dated a lot, and had been working professionally.  i was done doing all the single things i wanted to do.  

kelly clarkson said that the one of the reasons why she was happily married was because she waited until she was in her 30's to get married. because by that time she had found herself. i think part of the magic of marriage is finding yourself with your partner. i have grown so much since i have been married and i know that i wouldn't have made these strides on my own.

marriage pushes you in ways that you can't reach on your own. it's beautiful. i'm so grateful that i chose to get married so young. i am so grateful that i chose to start my adventure with my love at such a young age. you really learn about sacrifice and how to be selfless. my brother-in-law told me once that the purpose of marriage when it all boils down is to become more like Christ. and i couldn't have said it better myself.

i know it's a different situation and preference for everyone. i'm not trying to ruffle feathers. i'm just explaining why i believe in my own decision. growing and learning with my love by my side had been such a blessing and i wouldn't have traded it for anything.


April 13, 2017

springtime bucket list

spring is here! one of my favorite seasons!  i have a love/hate relationship with it because it means that summer is next, which is my least favorite season.  i think this year i might hate it less because i will have an ocean to dip in any day i want during the summer.

now that spring is in full swing, i think it is time to put together a spring bucket list! 

1. go on a picnic.  this is absolutely at the top of my list.  griffith park and observatory is always so crowded so its hard for us to get up there and so i have yet to take taran there yet.  but i want to pack a nice picnic and take him to at least the park.  

2. have an easter dinner with family.  this one is fun because we are going to my sister in law's in bakersfield on sunday! i really didn't want to spend easter without family, and we are lucky that taran's sister lives just two hours away.  i can't wait to put together baskets and see my nephews open their baskets.  something i really miss about living close to family is seeing all my babies so often. 

3. go to an outdoor festival.  many cities are already having festivals now that it is getting warmer.  look in your paper or use the magic of google to find a fun outdoor activity to do! 

4. read books at the park.  the second that the season changes to spring, taran and i spend an inaugural spring sunday sitting on park benches and reading books.  it is such a quiet, wonderful lazy sunday afternoon.

5.  go to a zoo.  whether its a zoo with animals or iRazoo, a site that pays your to take surveys! you can take quick surveys about all kinds of topics or even just watch videos while you cook or clean.  you can exchange the money for gift cards which are accepted at many stores such as walmart, target, cvs pharmacy and more.  

i'm really excited about this particular zoo because i have a tendency to spend more than save but i have gotten so much better i promise! but now, if i use iRazoo to its full potential, then i won't have to feel guilty about spending money on fun things! plus, i need new clothes and we all know target has the cutest clothes.  

happy thursday everyone!