Lot 48

June 17, 2016

clap your hands! it's friday!

this is my last weekend as a non working woman! my new job starts on monday and i couldn't be more excited!! i am very much over being unemployed and even more over finding things to do to keep me occupied each day.  i always feel better about myself when i am working, and i promise myself that even in times of stress or when i am feeling the blehhhh of the daily grind of working, that i will remember what it felt like to have no purpose and to feel so unproductive each day and to feel so small because i wasn't contributing financially to my family.  it's been a hard few months.

1. i am not only excited that i get to work but that it's the right job.  i know i haven't talked about quitting dispatch at all and that was by choice.  911 dispatching was very traumatic and i know a lot of you didn't even know i was job hunting until i told you i got a new job.  i really wanted to keep it private. 
 the thing i was most afraid of when i quit dispatching was being unemployed again. i had worked so hard for that 911 dispatcher job and had spent 4 months waiting and working hard to get it. law enforcement was my dream.  there were so many reasons why i quit, but my dream was dead.  i had to start over, from square one and find a new dream.  i had wanted to work in law enforcement for such a long time.  during my job hunting, i was offered a receptionist job at a law firm.  i felt inclined to turn it down because i knew there was something there better out there.  and there was! i can't wait to work for my church, the church of jesus christ of latter day saints.  it is truly a dream come true.  i feel so blessed and talented and fortunate.   i can't wait.  

2. i know i said i was giving my apartment a makeover but it is hard to do when the things i want to do involve money that we won't have until i start getting paid.  the only thing i have really done is paint this P and hang it in our kitchen and get a shoe rack and put it in our closet (which i am so happy about because i have been wanting to do that forever and the closest has so much more space now.) i want to reupholster the couch or just replace the couch, get new dressers, get patio furniture, and other things that might make the apartment look better.  i am really not good at this kind of thing and the only lessons i have learned i have learned from joanna's apartment tours.  they have been helpful but i really have no idea what i am doing! i started this whole thing because we live in kind of a sketchy area and i don't want anyone thinking our place is a dump.  i have never once thought that it is, but i don't want people thinking that.  but the more i thought about it, the less i realized i cared what people thought, but the more i felt like it was my obligation as an adult to fix up my apartment nice and to show my personality in it.  as i read more and more of joanna's apartment/house tours, i felt like it was something i was missing out on.  but i really don't know what i like or what "look" or "style" i am going for. so any help or tips would much be appreciated!

3. i finished all the episodes available of the fosters (insert cry face emoji.  no.  really.) so i started watching, of course, another free form series, switched at birth.  why do i like free form shows so much? why am i such a sucker for these dramas? it doesn't really matter why.  i don't care.  i'm just glad i have another show to watch late at night because i haven't been sleeping very well.  i'm nervous to start my new job and i'm up late into the night and i need something to distract me.  but don't worry mom, i only watch a few episodes a day mom.  (cough cough, uh, there's something in my throat.)

4. i went to the park and fed the ducks with my sweet nephews yesterday.  i love them so much.  it has been so much fun watching them grow up.  they are so smart and i love all their questions.  "can ducks be on land?" "where are the kid ducks?" isaac, that sweet babe above, who is a total mamas boy (or is my mom is around, grandma's boy) never lets me be around him.  but today he let me hold his hand as we walked along the pond!  it made my day!  i love the feeling of a tiny little hand in mine.  they are so small and precious and sweet, i just want to protect them from everything and keep them safe.

5. i've been at a loss lately thinking of things to write about.  what have you guys been writing about lately?  do you have any ideas for me?  who wants to do a blog everyday in x month challenge? are you participating in any of those?  i need those to give me ideas.

ps. i've joined my dear friend emelia in celebrating her second blogiversary.  A group of us have put together the chance to win a $50 Sephora Gift Card and Becca x Jacyln Hill Champagne Glow Face Palette to ONE LUCKY WINNER. Details are listed in the giveaway widget below. ends june 25!
 Kate // Emelia

June 16, 2016

a salute to dads

as father's day is nearing, i've been thinking a lot about all the fond memories i have of me and my dad.  and i've also been thinking about dads in general. i'm sorry i couldn't find more pictures of him and i that weren't at my wedding.  the ones i could find were repeat pics i found from old posts.

dads are so important.  i hope they realize how important they really are. i'm so blessed to have grown up with literally have the most incredible dad in the world.  he taught me so many things.  i think i was in middle school, when he told me that my mom could teach me how to be a wife and mother but it was his job to teach me of the world.  to discern.  to determine if someone is a good person to have around or not.  to be careful.  to check your tires frequently to monitor air pressure (35 at least! check them more regularly in the winter because they deflate when it's cold!!) he did so much to protect me and most importantly, he taught me to be self reliant.  

one of my favorite things to do is jam with my dad.  me as a singer and he as a guitar player, it was always just a special bonding time we had between us.   i would bring him new songs that i liked, he would learn them in two seconds and we would rock out! i love that we have that.   i feel our father-daughter connection so deeply when we jam.  my dad is the person who really taught me about music and he always really supported me as a singer.  our bond is so strong musically and otherwise.  when we play together, its almost i can feel what he is thinking. i know what he is going to do next, i can feel him out to know if he thinks i am singing too fast.  i don't think i would have that with any other guitarist. 

i was thinking last night about a sweet memory of my dad taking me to my softball games when i was a kid and he would watch me practice and we would play catch together on the front lawn.  like something out of a norman rockwell painting, haha! i've wondered if my dad wished that he had a son, and even though i would moan a bit when he asked me to play catch with him or toss a football around, i secretly loved it because i felt like i was helping make up for him having four daughters and no sons.   i really don't think my dad wished that he had a son, he still got to do "boy" things with us.  he taught us about sports, how to shoot, how to do manual labor like how to run our boat smoothly and how to fix things and build things.  he raised four daughters and all he got was a lousy t-shirt, yes, but i love that he got to do "son" stuff with us girls. and i know he is so proud to only have daughters.  he has often said he thinks he was made to have only daughters.  he loves the arts and theater and music and has a soft, sweet side that made him such a perfect fit for having just daughters.  and the plus side is he has four sons-in-laws now!! so now he gets to do all the guy stuff he wants! like grunt and yell at the tv during football, but now he has sons to do it with! 

when i was nine, i made this calendar for fathers day or his birthday or Christmas or something.  it was a "calendar of compliments." there were compliments such as: "you calm my fears in the night and the day," "you always look on the bight side," "i respect how you uphold your standards," and " you teach me gratitude." 

it's been almost 20 years and my dad still keeps that calendar close.  he had it laminated and kept it at his desk at his office.  he would read it everyday.  on my wedding day, he surprised taran with a plaque that listed all the compliments i gave him and entitled it "advice calendar for dads." i love how much he treasures it. 

my dad really is my best friend.   i always felt like i could talk to him about anything.  we like so many of the same things, have a lot of the same opinions, and it is just fun to hang out with him.  i've mentioned this before, but he is such a cool and fun dad!! he has been in a rock band since i was 7, he loves going to the lake and bought a boat when i was 14, and bought a plane with 4 other people 5 years ago.  he finally took me up in it! it was so cool and he is so impressive! it has always been a dream of his to become a pilot and i really admire how he made it happen and fulfilled his dream.

one of the things i am most thankful for is his lesson to be wary when it comes to men.  i am so, so grateful for that.  from such an early age, my dad taught me that it is not my job to fix a man.  and to never get involved with a guy who needs fixing.  and if there are a million reasons why it won't work, then why do it?  my dad is a very rational person who saw his mom get married three times because she thought she could fix her husbands.  it didn't go well.  and i thank my Lord in Heaven my dad taught me to be wary.  to be careful.  there were so many bad seeds out there, but i never dated any of them.  because of my dad. he taught me better.  i knew better.  i love the picture above because my dad is smiling as i am kissing my a-few-hours-old husband and he is smiling with pride.  because i chose well.  he approves.  i listened to him.  

it breaks my heart when i hear that someone has to/has had to go through life without a dad.  when i was in college, i worked at this restaurant where there was this high schooler hostess.  she didn't have a dad in her life and when father's day came, she told me that her and her friends, including her mom, were going to get together and drink and have an "our fathers left us" party.  that makes me sad.  when i read sarah's post about her dad's ten year anniversary of his death, it made me cry.  i don't know how she does it.  i really don't know what i would do without my dad.  i think its pretty messed up that we live in a world where dads walk off and abandon their children regularly.  

growing up my dad told me he loved me every. single. day.  he would always ask "lauren, have i told you today that i love you?" if he already had, he would say it again.  i loved that. (who wouldn't?) he said he once dated a girl who said her dad never told her he loved her and he promised he would never do that to his children. 

i also want to mention my grandpa.  it's been a year since he passed away (i still can't even bring myself to say the D word.) and i have been thinking about him a lot lately.  i was a complete wreck when he passed, and honestly, looking at this picture is making it really hard not to burst into tears. i have the best memories with him as well. he and my grandma would come for Christmas and escape the harsh detroit winter and stay until february.  in the time they stayed, they would rent a condo and he would pick me up from school and drive me to dance and piano lessons.  i am so glad we had those moments together, just the two of us.  i miss him so much.  he was an incredible man. 

happy fathers day (soon!) and a salute to all the good dads out there! you are more important than you realize!

June 13, 2016

tv shows to watch this summer

it's really supid, isn't it? that come summer all our favorite shows take a very very an UNNECESSARY break.  stupid television programming. i was at a loss for what to write about so the lovely juliette suggested i write about this topic and i said "YES! that is GENIUS!" because she is brilliant.  and she completely knows what is right up my alley.  
my choice of television shows are always overly dramatic, silly and slightly ridiculous.  but oh, it's so good.  all these shows can be found on netflix.  

i wrote about this when i wrote about our wb lot tour in LA. we got to go on the set!  i started watching the show after we went on the set, which we unfortunately don't have pictures of because you aren't allowed to take pictures on sound stages.  it's crazy to watch the show and think "that isn't a real street! that's on a sound stage! the "house" across the street is just a tarp they pull really tight and put a light behind it to make it look like a real street.  and the house has so much detail in it.  but anyway! why you should watch the show! it's about a same-sex couple stef and lena would have a biological child, some adoptive kids and some foster kids.  it's about the life and times and craziness of living with 5 kids and trying to make sure everyone is happy and feels safe even though these kids have been kicked around from house to house.  the story line is always really captivating and you will get immediately hooked. 

this is about a detective in seattle who becomes obsessed with solving a murder of a teenage girl. i like it because usually in cop shows it takes one episode to solve a murder, but here it takes two seasons.  i'm in the third season and it jumped ahead a year and i'm like 'wait where are all the characters i got to know so well? why is everything so different?' so i kind of stopped watching, but the first two seasons, wow.  this show is so well written it really sucks you in.  two seasons is only three weeks in the show, so it's crazy how much happens in that short of time. the murder is really complicated and you keep thinking they got the guy but they still haven't. it goes really deep. 

the paradise i have mentioned before when i talked about what time period i would want to live in.  but in that post i didn't really talk about the show.   this show is so cool.  it's about a girl who lives and works in a a department store.  she is really, really smart and is very ambitious which is very odd for that time period.  everyone else is threatened by her intelligence as she rises through the ranks of the store.  and romance is involved, of course.  i blew through this show so fast it was so good.  highly recommend. 

i started watching this show when i got tickets to be in the audience while we were in LA.  netflix suggested i watch it after i watched baby daddy but i ignored it's wisdom and didn't watch it until about a month ago.  it is so funny and cute!  it is about a wanna be chef who works as a personal chef for a millionare tech guy.  her life is messy and complicated and i love following along with her crazy ridICULOUS life! it's a pretty funny show. 
oh how i loved this show dearly and oh how sad i was when i was done with all the episodes.  it is about a model who, when she dies, hits a button in heaven, sending her back down to earth and into a random body of someone who was just about to die.  the body she landed into was jane, a high powered lawyer.  she ends up having to work next to her fiance every day and can't tell him who she really is, per the instructions of her guardian angel.  like i said, my taste is ridICULOUS.  but i loved all her fun cases and the characters and how much confidence she had despite her body.  she was one power house.  i loved that show oh so much.  so funny, so cute. 

this show is on hulu.  it's about the best friendship of a homicide detective and a medical examiner.  for someone who adores cop shows, this is quite delightful.  these two girls could not be more different in personality and even in the pilot episode the writers nailed rizzoli's character on the head making her endearing and lovable immediately.   she's quite hilarious while isles is quite awkward.  i love the dynamic and their cases are always interesting.  this show is very procedural, meaning it goes case to case, episode to episode, with the exception of rizzoli's stalker/killer. 

what shows would you recommend to watch this summer?

June 10, 2016

how to be unemployed

i have been unemployed for over  two months now.  i got a new job but it doesn't start until june 20.  what kept me busy the past two months was all the interviewing and job applying i was doing.  that kept me really busy.  but now that part is over and i am just waiting for my job to start, i am struggling to not twiddle my thumbs.  

i am trying to keep busy by redecorating the apartment.  i really should say decorating because when we moved in we just combined all our stuff and it just looks like one big hodgepodge of nothing good.  our apartment doesn't look sleek or nice or aesthetically pleasing in any way.  so i've been trying to design and redo our apartment with my free time.  

but let's talk about the horrors of job hunting and being unemployed because it is no fun. 

you want confidence like this
but job interviews are more like this

and dealing with all that free time is like like this.
and you end up doing a lot of this

so you try to read to be intellectual
but you end up feeling a lot like this

and when you finally get a job you go like this because the wait and torture is finally over!

i start my new job a week from monday!! woohoo! and it is going to be GREAT i can feel it!! YES!

happy weekend everyone!
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June 6, 2016


i've been employed in positions that included a lot of professional writing.  i have written a few scripts.  i have a profile on upwork for freelance writing opportunities.  i've had this blog for years and continue to write my thoughts and ideas. even with all that, i still feel uncomfortable calling myself a writer.

are my articles even any good?  am i any good? i looked back on my writing samples and edited and changed all of them, because the writer i was then was pretty bad and i saw a lot of ways to improve those articles.  which is good, that shows me i have grown as a writer.  i've improved.  but still, am i "allowed" to call myself that?  i feel like there should be a right ("wright" ;)) of passage that i need to pass before i can call myself one.

i talk a big talk when it comes to screenwriting, but really, i don't know much.  as i am working on my current script, self doubt infects my fingers. i'm not funny enough.  i don't understand character well enough. i don't write enough jokes in each scene. i know story.  that i have confidence in. but i want education, i want to gain knowledge.  i want to take a course and learn from a professor. bounce ideas off of other students.  i would love to get a certificate or a masters in screenwriting, but is that really practical?  not really.

it is very annoying for the poor soul who watches tv with me.  that pour soul is taran.  i pause, rewind, and talk a lot while watching tv.  i've never viewed watching tv as a passive act, but an engaging way to learn about human character, life, and most of all, writing.

watching any comedy, i have to know who wrote the episode.  the writer is always listed right before director and after all the producers.  once i know who the writer is, i pause the show and look them up on imdb.  i have all the writers for the mindy project memorized just like i do for modern family, and 30 rock.  i study the shows i watch intently, i have a hard time sitting back and relaxing.  i can do that with drama, i'm not a drama writer, but not with comedy.

am i a writer because of how much i study and learn? am i a writer simply because i love it and i do it consistently?  or are you a writer once you get paid for it?  i don't think that's true, because what about the writers who write novels and are trying to get published like lindsay??  they haven't been paid for that yet and people who write novels are definitely writers.

i should take out a flower and pull off its petals while saying "writer. not writer" and see which petal i land with.  maybe that's the only way to know.

so what do you think?  what defines a writer? 

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